Need help with a problem that maybe effects my interaction with women.

Schtemich · 2018-01-16T11:10:24+00:00

Losing your virginity, experiencing a sexual relationship, having a girlfriend and so on will NOT be a fix-all to your insecurities. It's vitally important you remember that - and as weird as it sounds, take comfort in it.

All these friends of yours, whom, in your eyes, have somehow 'solved' the virginity problem have NOT won at life. Where once they wondered if they would ever sex, now they wonder if or when they'll get it again. Those with girlfriends they adore fear losing them. Everybody wonders if they're good in bed or if their lovers have merely given charitable reviews. Self-doubt transcends simple checkpoints such as "I have had sex".

The sense of self-worth you're lacking needs to come from more places that just having sex. You're working out, getting buff and so on, which is good, but you can do more elsewhere. Which creative outlets do you have? Have you made the most of your artistic, technical, musical, culinary, and academic talents? When did you last do something genuinely kind that meant a lot to someone and improved their life? Have you properly invested in your family relationships? Are your finances in order? Is your life tidy, organised, and serene? If not, how can you make it so?

I lost my virginity at 22. Prior to that, I had plenty of self-doubt and I resented friends that got laid. When it finally happened - it was great - but it didn't fix my life. That came from proactive self-improvement throughout my 20s, and is still ongoing.

Knowing, genuinely knowing, that you're capable of great things will make you feel less resentful of others, and funnily enough, it will also make you phenomenally attractive. Good luck.

RoiOstrovsky · 2018-01-16T10:33:20+00:00

Don't focus on 'fixing' your jealousy, it won't work. It'll just stir the water even more...

Instead, focus on getting the women you want, and when your heart's desire will be fulfilled you'll be more receptive and calm about others successes.

As to how to win the women you want... pure hard work and experience. And don't forget courage, because if you don't make a serious move (other than getting to know her and laughing...) how can you expect to win her over?

throwawaylilbastard · 2018-01-16T11:10:18+00:00

Since you are already improving your self, my advice would be to get out in the field.

You didn't tell us how you meet these girls in the first place. Was it a club, daygame, tinder or what?

I think your real problem is that you don't escalate.

Since you said you can get dates and even been asked out once (this is huge), you seem to have the looks or the ability to convey confidence. But that is enough to get you a date and get you through it. Although escalation is another part. You have to get physical.

Think about it. You are waiting for the girl to make the move? You will be waiting a long time friend. Say fuck it and do it. I was also 18 and kissless and with the fuck it mentality, i have kissed over 30 women.

I would say take the weekend off. Friday and Saturday. Then, dress your best, cologne and all these appearance and hygiene stuff and go to a club. Alone. Start by talking to people in the smoking area to get into social mood. Approach girls. A lot of them, get rejected or whatever.

Girls that are really into you can be spotted so easily at clubs. The do obvious stuff (heavy eye contact, touching and shit). This is your opportunity.

Escalate. Start small with kino. Spin her, dance with her, hug her etc.

Now, there are a lot of ways to do this but I will tell you one : while you dance, assuming the venue is dark say "What color are your eyes?". Say it with a smirk. She will reply whateever and then you gonna be like "really? Let me see" then she will stare at you. You have 2 - 3 seconds to kiss her bro. Either do it or stay a virgin.

2018-01-16T10:52:00+00:00

Well you read Models. You should know the basics.

1) You invest too much in others. Be conscious about this. It usually helps me to reduce the amount of fucks I give. In general be self aware. It can help you break some bad habits.

2) I think you have a honesty problem if you don't get any women who are interested in you. Are you making the moves to create attraction? Is your body language fitting your intention? Is your old suicidal sub-conscious affecting your interactions with women? Maybe they were receptive but you didn't get the signals (because of your suicidal sub-conscious)?

Next time when you get angry and envious just accept that any women didn't hit on you (so far). Try some breathing/meditation techniques. They could help you the reduce the anger.

Benderbluss · 2018-01-16T14:08:32+00:00

You have to be ok with yourself first. If you're battling jealousy and anger, it's going to undercut your interactions with other people. Especially if the anger starts to come out when you think things are going sideways with a girl; that shit is scary for women and for good reason.

The more you set up interactions in your mind as 'win/fail' moments, the more pressure you're going to put on yourself, and the worse it will make things. Be ok with a woman rejecting you. Don't be the guy who comes across as one rejection away from going berserk.

circlhat · 2018-01-16T22:48:15+00:00

I just want to get to know women I'm interested in. I've been able to hold conversations with women, make them laugh, but I've never had them be receptive at a point of something serious.

Do you really want to get to know her?, or stick your dick in her?, because let me tell you a secret, women want you to stick your dick in them, and move on to the next guy, they aren't that interested in sappy relationship crap, at least your age.

I got the most women in my life the fastest when I started posting dick pics, with no face, I got so many girls Dying to fuck , that I had to send a unsolicited face pic. I didn't want to meet a girl that hasn't seen my face.

By interested in , I assume the women you want to stick your dick in, now ask yourself why do you want to get to know her? Is she really that interesting, or has a nice pair of tits , the thing is if you truly click you won't be able to help getting to know her.

Be honest with yourself

I make decent money, dress nice, and have a good social life

None of these things will turn a women on, we keep telling these guys to do these things because every time they have issue with women we start attacking them personally , by asking them to get hobbies, hit the gym, become a better person, at some point you have to become you, For the longest time I have no interests in women other than sex, and women had no interests in me other than sex.

Figure out what you want, and only associate with people who are giving it to you.

I have no with problem shyness and interacting with women and can hold a conversation.

Having sex with women is a primal thing, not a conscious thing, emotions are subconscious, Seduction helps you talk to a women subconscious, it's the little things, choosing were to eat, making the first move, inviting her back to your place.

Title	Need help with a problem that maybe effects my interaction with women.
Author	throwaway23231677
Upvotes	8
Comments	12
Date	January 16, 2018 7:53 AM UTC (8 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/7qqta0/need_help_with_a_problem_that_maybe_effects_my/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/need-help-with-a-problem-that-maybe-effects-my.1440156 https://theredarchive.com/post/1440156

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