Need help

Sorry_Highway_8810 · 2024-03-22T13:10:06+00:00

I've been reading through your post and several of your comments and I get a few impressions. I'm not sure if I'm anywhere close to correct, but hear my out. As I read your comments, I get the impression that you're confident. Being confident is a good thing, as long as you earned it and are not overconfident. On top of that, by the way you phrase things I think you have pretty standard male perspective. And I think you can still grow in that department.

Firstly, your confidence. When you describe yourself you use terms like: above average looking, pretty stylish, make people laugh. Now I don't know you, but for the sake of argument I'm going to assume that you are. This are all great traits, simple as. If this is not enough to get women/people interested in you, then I can only conclude that you are lacking in another, more important, department, or that you aren't going about conveying these characteristics in the right way.

If you were to say all the right things, I gave you the best script for an interaction and the interaction would go according to script, but you said these things in the wrong way, for example coming on too strong. Do you think the result would be positive or negative in this scenario? So I'm really curious if you are conscious of your intonation and how you come across in an interaction. Your social intelligence and the way you go about conversation could be holding you back. Can you tell me some more about how conversation go for you, when you interact with women?

Back to the lacking in another department. This is really broad and I could give loads of examples here, but do you think there are things that are holding you back? What do you think could use the most improvement in your game?

My second point was your male perspective on the dating scene. Again, I'm generalizing here and this is just what I gathered from literally 5 sentences you wrote. Women, in general, do not want the same thing from the dating scene that you or I or other men want. Men, by and large, work like this: Me see titties, me want grab. If that was the case for women, dickpics would actually work, but they don't This could come across in the way you interact with women and could scare them away, causing the ghosting you said you had. That made me wonder, when you are in an interaction with a woman, are you talking with them, or are you talking at them?

If you want to go into more detail or start a convo you can also DM me.

ROBYoutube · 2024-03-22T10:37:56+00:00

It's nice that you're above average to look at. That will get you over the immediate hurdle for most girls. As you have been finding out though, it's not enough to sustain interest into an intimate relationship.

So basically, what qualities do you have that you think a girl would like to be around for any length of time?

DaygameCode · 2024-03-23T11:34:18+00:00

Approach women that you like as a soon as stop see them. It doesn’t matter if they are giving signals or no signals at all. You just do it because you want to and are a man who goes for what he wants, not because he needs indications to go for what he wants.

I’m usually really reserved, I don’t like to come on too strong because it’s A; kind of weird to me & B; women already have enough to deal with, don’t wanna be that creep you know?

The only way to learn is to fuck up and risk being the creep and getting out of your comfort zone, that is not negotiable. You either risk and grow from facing difficult challenges or get stuck with shit results in your comfort zone for the rest of your life. You will regret not doing things more, than the things you end up doing

I will say I usually don’t know what to say like my mind goes blank or something.

Your mind goes blank because your nerves see an interaction with a woman as dangerous. Since you worry about being creepy, you end up wanting to restrain yourself from being your true self that makes you wanna avoid saying things that could have high risk but high reward, and thus your mind just doesn’t know what to do.

Your mind thinks it might be better to just end the conversation and run away hence your thoughts start going into fight or flight mode, which is what causes the kind to go blank. Your mind thinks you should not fight a woman, so it just makes you forget anything to force you to “flight” (aka, to get out of the situation).

To avoid this you need to start giving less fucks, you need to choose to risk being a creep and being ok with that. It’s difficult it’s uncomfortable, but it’s your job as a mam to fafe difficult and learn to deal with that. Our ancestors fought in wars, risking their lives, getting injured, shot, starving, which was way harder than a girl saying "omg ew, leave me alone creep".

I think confidence and fear of rejection honestly. Like I don’t want to take any more hits to my ego.

Unfortunately, your ego is not your friend. Ego is the worst flaw a man can have and the most limiting. Women hate men who are driven by their ego. Guys who take themselves too seriously. Guys who care about appearances and what other people think of them. Guys who want to live in their bubble and hate being humbled down.

The cure for your ego is receiving humility lessons. That means rejection is beneficial because it humbles you down and thus it can allow you to reflect, learn and free yourself from your ego.

When a woman rejects you, rather than taking it personal, you should act gracefully and thank them for humbling you down. Not act butt hurt, or like it is something personal because it isn’t. You are the one who chooses to see it as a personal attack, rather than what it is, an opportunity for you tro reflect and learn

Title	Need help
Author	Extension-Courage-97
Upvotes	2
Comments	16
Date	March 22, 2024 10:29 AM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/1bkw21t/need_help/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/need-help.1512984 https://theredarchive.com/post/1512984

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