Need Need Advice Cold Approaching- Really Want to Change

UnclePutin · 2018-10-26T07:38:23+00:00

All over the place you are conflating the idiosyncrasies of your personality with who you are. Surprisingly, you are not your personality because it is subject to change. Yes, personality is malleable. Likes, dislikes, passions, preferences, are so too. You are not your personality.

I have some mental disorders that contribute to this (bipolar disorder ect) so I’m often scatter brained at first.

No, don't even mention this. This is nothing. You can train yourself to be other ways.

Should I still just approach?

Of course you should, and get prepared for rejection too. Rejection is good for you.

Should I change anything?

Change what you're doing with your time. Read some books on pickup (Models by Mark Manson). Watch some RSD videos. Approach women.

but approaching in a bar setting makes me really uncomfortable because of the loud setting and I can’t really talk

That's fine you're uncomfortable. Do it anyway. Yes it's going to suck and you should prepare yourself to have your ego brutally slaughtered. Be prepared to be embarrassed. That's how it is.

because of the loud setting and I can’t really talk.

You can't talk because you're not loud enough. Get louder. Yell.

At this point I don’t care about rejection,

Actually you should care a lot about rejection. Rejection is your friend and your ally. It's what teaches and it's what makes you grow. It's good if you're rejected. That's the only way you'll learn. Success teaches you fucking nothing.

I also don’t have many friends to wing for me so I feel it could be a bit awkward going alone? Thoughts?

Yeah, it will be awkward. So fucking what? I know I'm being very forward in my replies to you but you have to understand that this shit is ugly, awkward, embarrassing, and downright terrifying at points. You just have to accept this as part of life and realize you will experience all of these emotions, sometimes alone and sometimes all at once. It's like that famous song by Guns N' Roses:

You know where you are? You're in the jungle baby! You're gonna die!

Practice practice practice practice. Approach, make a fool of yourself, go home crying yourself to sleep, then get up the next day and do it again. Subject yourself to the pain and discomfort and if you do this through the years without quitting, you'll forge a diamond of yourself. There is no other way. Get yourself kicked down and get rejected hard. Get shit thrown in your face and your teeth knocked in.

Actually, be Tyler Durden.

AryasDagger · 2018-10-26T09:17:43+00:00

Bars are a good place to observe people too which is its own set of lessons if you open up to them.

I thought you might go about it this way: pick a bar you like and that gathers nice crowds of people and go there a couple of times on your own when it isn't too busy.

This will allow you to establish some kind of raport with the people who work there and familiarize yourself with the space. Don't hit on the staff (they deal with that all the time) just be casually friendly without being overbearing.

Then start going there when it's busy. You'll already feel comfortable there because of your familiarity with the staff and place which in turn will make you feel more at ease than you otherwise would. You would be going in your terf.

Once there and before approaching anyone scan the room well to find someone you like. Taking your time will allow you to pick someone that might have a quirk or a detail that separates them from the other girls. Taking your time will also allow you not pick someone who is fall-out-drunk, who is nasty to anyone who approaches her or who has a boyfriend.

Then just approach her and treat her like a person you want to get to know. Flirt, use your humor, ask questions, be interested.

You can't (won't) fail.

Title	Need Need Advice Cold Approaching- Really Want to Change
Author	jeceandgin
Upvotes	0
Comments	4
Date	October 26, 2018 6:20 AM UTC (7 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/9ri9by/need_need_advice_cold_approaching_really_want_to/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/need-need-advice-cold-approaching-really-want-to.1455615 https://theredarchive.com/post/1455615

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