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[–]hurennn 0 points1 point2 points 7 years ago (8 children) | Copy Link
I was a virgin until 19, didn’t have a gf until I was 21. I’ve now had sex with more women than I can count, 4 relationships and just generally kill it with women.
Don’t stress on it, it’ll come in time if you put time into it
[–]manual_focus_life 7 points8 points9 points 7 years ago (7 children) | Copy Link
1) Virgin until 19, no gf until 21 2) ??? 3) Generally kill it with women, sex with more women than I can count etc
1) Virgin until 19, no gf until 21
2) ???
3) Generally kill it with women, sex with more women than I can count etc
Not to sound like a dick here but your answer doesn't really contain context or any valuable information about ways you changed as a person to lead to such different outcomes. I'm sure OP and the community would appreciate some insight as to some actionable things that worked for you.
While yes, "giving it time" may work for some people that get lucky with circumstance, the truth is that most people can't just wait and expect a girlfriend to fall in their lap (figuratively and literally) because underlying insecurities may prevent them from being open to those opportunities.
Would you say your step 2 was that you got lucky with circumstance or was it that you worked on yourself to address underlying issues that made it easier afterwards? Something else perhaps?
[–]thehomie117[🍰] 1 point2 points3 points 7 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link
The line about underlying insecurities really hit home for me. I feel lesser than all of my friends for being a virgin especially when they tell me how funny I am. I know I’m capable, I just don’t think I’ll get a chance
[–]manual_focus_life 1 point2 points3 points 7 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
Do your friends bring up your virginity in conversation? If so might want to look into getting new friends...
[–]thehomie117[🍰] 0 points1 point2 points 7 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Is it worth going in for the cold pickup? I’ve thought about just walking around campus and seeing a cute girl and asking for her number confidently. Is this viable?
[–]manual_focus_life 0 points1 point2 points 7 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Personally, I have never cold approached on a campus with intent to get her number during normal school hours. I'm sure some people could appreciate it (think about how you may have sat alone somewhere and kinda wished someone came up and talked to you), but you may face more rejection than you would in a more explicitly social situation like campus events or club meetings.
Personally I have no trouble with approach and engagement of conversation, but struggle with any sort of close (asking for her number etc). If you have troubles with the approach, cold approaches on campus may be setting the bar too high at the start.
And seriously, don't worry about your virginity, though I know it's easier for me to say that after having lost mine. Personally, I lost mine about a year ago in a relationship where things went way too fast for me (I also felt a little bit insecure about my virginity). It honestly wasn't a great experience and I think set me back in some ways. I don't feel like I missed out on anything in highschool for not having sex. Also, I feel like people that make fun of others for not having lost their virginity have sexual insecurities themselves that they have to project.
If you are looking for a girlfriend, from women I know I get the impression that most won't care about your inexperience as long as you communicate it and commit to learning the things that your partner enjoys (and communicate when she does something you enjoy). It won't take too long to improve that way. Good luck.
[–]le_GoogleFit 0 points1 point2 points 7 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I was a virgin until I was 21 and if it can help, accepting it and being honest about it with my friends (instead of hiding it) helped me a lot to deal with it.
Then I basically got lucky and that's really all there is to it imo. Yeah you have to improve, approach, socialize and all that but I truly believe that ultimately all of this comes down to chance for a good 90% of the process vs 10% of your own input.
[–]hurennn 0 points1 point2 points 7 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I woke up one day and decided to be awesome
That seriously was it. I watched a lot of YouTube videos on understanding social dynamics, understood what characteristics were desireable in men, and began embodying those traits, or faked and lied about them.
It really was a night and day change for me. Put time in to learning the fundamentals, and fake it till you make it.
I’ve posted plenty on this sub, it gets a bit repetitive for me
[–]MrDownhillRacer 0 points1 point2 points 7 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Nineteen? You are but a little baby. Too young to start worrying about the fact that you haven't had a relationship or sex yet.
[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points 7 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Could you be more childish next time please?
[–]MrDownhillRacer 0 points1 point2 points 7 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
? I think you've misunderstood.
I'm telling OP that 19 isn't an unusual age to not have had a relationship or sex by, statistically; and that there's no need to worry about not having had those experiences making him defective in any way.
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[–]hurennn 0 points1 point2 points (8 children) | Copy Link
[–]manual_focus_life 7 points8 points9 points (7 children) | Copy Link
[–]thehomie117[🍰] 1 point2 points3 points (5 children) | Copy Link
[–]manual_focus_life 1 point2 points3 points (3 children) | Copy Link
[–]thehomie117[🍰] 0 points1 point2 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]manual_focus_life 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]manual_focus_life 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]le_GoogleFit 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]hurennn 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]MrDownhillRacer 0 points1 point2 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]MrDownhillRacer 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link