~ archived since 2018 ~

New Kiss Close

[deleted]

June 17, 2011

30 upvotes

/r/seduction

So I've tried this two times and it's been a massive success. I'm going to try this again and probably keep doing it for a while. Once I know it's on, she's giving me all the signals, I start the sexual banter and if she's on then I go for it.

What I do is I'll start talking about things like wrestling, and then get really into it, and make it all cute with a subtle hint of sexual. Something like "Oh I would totally pin you down, you have no chance darling" or something like that. If they're into you they would go along with it. From there I would look into her eyes, make my voice a little deeper, put on a smile and say "well that may be the case, but I bet my tongue could beat your tongue in a wrestling match".

The last time I said it the girl kind of put her chin down and looked up at me with this huge smile, the girl before her just bit her lip and gave me those "fuck me" eyes. From there I would just go in for the kiss.

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Post Information

Title	New Kiss Close
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	30
Comments	28
Date	June 17, 2011 9:09 PM UTC (15 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/i2gfv/new_kiss_close/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/new-kiss-close.1319395 https://theredarchive.com/post/1319395

Comments

[–]Raging_Asian_Man 45 points46 points47 points 15 years ago (6 children) | Copy Link

[–][deleted] 15 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link

[–]Mysteri0n 7 points8 points9 points 15 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link

[–][deleted] 15 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

[–]bpross2 points 15 years ago [recovered] (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]nomowolf 2 points3 points4 points 15 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]romkeh 4 points5 points6 points 15 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]frogma 4 points5 points6 points 15 years ago (15 children) | Copy Link

[–][deleted] 15 years ago (14 children) | Copy Link

[–]frogma 2 points3 points4 points 15 years ago (12 children) | Copy Link

[–][deleted] 15 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]frogma 0 points1 point2 points 15 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points 15 years ago (9 children) | Copy Link

[–]frogma 1 point2 points3 points 15 years ago (7 children) | Copy Link

Hey sorry man I must've checked my messages and forgot about em.

In the situation OP's talking about (which I've been in plenty of times- I like to wrestle with girls), I'd just kiss the girl when I feel like I've got an opening- so if she's giving me a look or if I feel like being a boss I'll just do it. I've probably done it 10-15 times with a 100% success rate, without using a line like that beforehand.

I'm usually not one to be skeptical of various lines, because I've used plenty of shit that has worked in the past- and if I haven't tried it before, I don't like to pass any judgment on it. But there's certain times where I can visualize how I would/have done similar shit without it working. I've never used OP's line but I've definitely said some similar shit in similar situations, and the only reason I would do it is so that I myself could feel more comfortable with the situation. Or I'll put it this way: it's like you feel this gap between "not kissing" and "kissing," so to bridge that gap you use this line. I just don't think it's too attractive to the girl. I don't doubt that it can and has worked before, and similar shit has worked for me before, but I still think it's much much better to just be comfortable going for a kiss without any line.

Usually you'll find yourself in a situation where you basically know the kiss is inevitable, and it's about to happen, but then you throw in a line like this for no good reason. The only reasonable time to use it is when you don't know if a kiss is gonna be happening, and that's basically an inner game issue because I always know when a kiss will happen by virtue of me going for the kiss immediately afterward.

The way I would use this line in particular would be as more of a joke- and that's probably how OP used it. It's definitely humorous and I'm sure it works in the right situation, but it's just soooo much easier (and in the end, less "risky") to just kiss the girl instead. If you're in a situation where you're wondering if she wants to kiss you, about 99% of the time she does want to kiss you.

But hopefully OP will see this and let me know how the girls immediately responded- my guess is they giggled or something and then kissed him, and hopefully fucked him soon after. Again, I'm sure it can work, I just don't think it's necessary and actually gives you a greater chance of being blown out in the long run (ie: I've made out with girls by doing similar shit, but the vibe was a bit "off" afterwards- I think I still fucked a few, but was also blown off by a few. I'm not really sure because I've never kept track of this kind of shit).

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points 15 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link

[–]frogma 1 point2 points3 points 15 years ago* (4 children) | Copy Link

I feel like I've seen you around a bit and you've said good shit here. If you're still wondering whether that quote is true (it definitely is), then all you need is a little change in your mindset.

When people say to "assume attraction," that's not just a cheesy motivational line. It actually works, if you can internalize it. I'm infamous among my friends for walking up to girls and making out with them without any sort of introduction- or I might tease them and then kiss them- it's purely because I assume attraction from the start. I've had two negative responses from doing that, and both times the girl returned the kiss but then pushed me away and still wanted more afterward. I've never been "blown out" or anything from doing it. The trick is to gauge their receptivity- if they look at you a certain way, or if you're feeling like a boss, just go do it and watch what happens. They might "act" pissed or whatever, but then they'll try to get your attention afterwards (assuming you walked away, and didn't just keep kissing em).

The way it works from their perspective is that I'm confident and bold and blah blah blah. But my perspective is a lot different- from my POV, I'm just assuming attraction and following through (and basically just ignoring the part of me that's saying "this might not be a good idea"). Shit works, because when you internalize the mindset and have an attitude of abundance/confidence, it'll show in your body language and actions, and girls will respond to it. The situation I described is an extreme, but it's even more relevant in those situations where you've talked to the girl a bit more (or wrestled with her, or danced with her, or whatever).

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points 15 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link

Assuming attraction has always worked fine for me, but I kinda have to remind myself when I'm talking to a girl; it's not entirely internalized. So sometimes I get to a point where I need to take action and my mind sorta plays against me. I keep telling myself to assume attraction and it fights back. Then it all breaks down.

I guess I just need to keep internalizing things and keep telling myself "this worked last time, why the fuck wouldn't it work now?" until it's part of me. I'm still in the phase where things I do do work, and most of it is natural (I've moved on from canned lines and the like) but I still need to keep reminding myself. Sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn't (mostly because I may be having a slightly bad night and things start piling up against me - I guess that falls in the frame discussion we had earlier). I don't know if this is a natural phase in my evolution to a better person - I like to think 99% of people go through this phase.

Also, RES says I've given you quite a few upboats over the time I've been here so I'm gonna save this for future reference. Thanks a lot and keep up the good work around here.

[–]frogma 1 point2 points3 points 15 years ago* (2 children) | Copy Link

You're the first person who's said anything like that (about upvotes) so thanks.

I went through a more unique process I guess- I wouldn't say I'm a natural, but I learned shit on my own- and basically as soon as I started having success I became much more cocky and entitled. Once you fuck like 3 girls in 3 nights, or a model, or anything you've never done before, it makes you feel like the man. If you keep it up, you keep up that mentality and you can literally accomplish anything. If you don't keep it up, it falls back to the same level you were at before (or worse).

I'd still say it's easier to just remember those past experiences where you pulled off awesome shit, but it's better if you can just develop your self-esteem naturally. Remembering past experiences, by definition, means you're externally-validated, so that isn't good and it doesn't last if you don't maintain it. It's much better to have a self-developed sense of self-worth (purely based on how good you feel about yourself, and not based on your accomplishments or fucking anything that has to do with external factors). If you can go out every single day with that sort of mindset, not only will people respond to you more positively (guaranteed), but you'll be a lot happier regardless of the results.

That's definitely something I haven't internalized (being a skeptical/pessimistic/intelligent guy makes it difficult), but I'm close. I think the number one trick, at least in the short run, is to do everything for your own amusement/happiness/whatever. When you go up and talk to a girl, don't give a single fuck about that girl, and just focus on yourself. If you want to get better at a certain aspect of "game," focus on that and nothing else. If you want to get to know the girl, focus on that and nothing else. Don't just do that with hot girls- do it with literally everyone. Once you do it a handful of times it just becomes your natural mindset, and then you can approach anyone without being too worried about if they "like you," or if the hot girls "want to fuck you" or anything like that. And the main thing that helped me was to just pretend I knew what I was talking about. Wherever you go, just act like you know exactly what you're talking about and say what you want to say without any thought of how people might react. Just own it and keep doing your thing. That's what helped me the most.

What also helped was escalation- I actually have a lot more "success" when I try to make shit happen. If I just try to "have fun," I just get drunk and/or party with my friends and girls don't give a fuck. If I actually make it a goal to have some sex, then I'll actually try to follow through and I'll approach as many girls as it takes. That helps a lot, and the experience desensitizes you to rejection or whatever. I don't get rejected too often at all. The only times I'm not successful are when the conversation gets stale and shit and one of us walks away.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points 15 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

I think the number one trick, at least in the short run, is to do everything for your own amusement/happiness/whatever.

...

If I just try to "have fun," I just get drunk and/or party with my friends and girls don't give a fuck.

I've been having a myriad of problems lately and it's definitely shaken my composure (break up, kid, moving back with parents, and so on) and I've been doing this a lot. Just going out, not caring about the pick up. I go out and try to have fun. And, if I see someone interesting, I approach. But seeing as how my inner game has been a bit fractured things tend to not work out and I move to friend zone instead, mostly (I believe) because of a lack of steady escalation. I kinda fell into an "I don't care" mode and I need to get out of it.

Tomorrow I'm going solo to a small Johnny Cash tribute gig and I'm going to aim for this Social God Mode mentality with the aim to pick someone up for the first time in, I dunno, about 8 weeks I think. I'm finally starting to regain my stronger mentality and r/seddit has been of greater help than anyone realizes. I guess an FR is in order whether I succeed or not.

In the end, once you've learnt the theory about all the little techniques like negs, validation, etc it just comes down to inner game. I wish more people understood this. I forgot nothing of the techniques or the steps or the escalation ladder and all that, but with my inner game shaken I had to get a little lucky or aim for HB6s and 7s to succeed.

[–]frogma1 point 15 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

Everything comes down to inner game, but a mistake most "experienced" guys make is they try to tell less-experienced guys all about inner game and shit. If you don't have a firm grasp of what it means to be confident or whatever, focusing on confidence means jack shit to you.

Even as a guy who didn't learn "game" to get good with girls, I went through the same sort of shit where I did trial-and-error and had a bunch of failures that had nothing to do with inner game. Like, I was able to change my mentality lightning-fast, but most guys simply can't do it like that (though I still mention it because it definitely is possible). Most guys need to have a larger number of successes and failures before they can just focus on inner game. Otherwise they have nothing to really draw on- which all goes back to external- vs. self-validation (and most guys can't just work out the difference in their minds- they still need the experience to back it up).

In the short run though, like at this concert, just focus on being social as fuck, but also mess around with a lot of push/pull and see what you can do with it. If you push a girl "too hard" and she responds by being "mad" about it, don't give up. Just stay there and either keep pushing or do some pulling (or even go back to her if she leaves you) and keep your frame solid, and watch what happens. I've had a ton of failures turn into successes just by sticking with it, even after a girl had totally blown me off (mainly because push/pull is so fuckin effective regardless of how exactly you do it or who you are).

[–]TheTwilightPrince 0 points1 point2 points 15 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]theonly1withkfc 0 points1 point2 points 15 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

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[–]OtherMikeP[🍰] -1 points0 points1 point 15 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link