For those that have read or are currently reading No More Mr. Nice Guy, a book about learning to value yourself and putting your needs above pleasing everyone around you as a man, I had a question that I wanted some reflection on after reading through the first few chapters of the book.

In the book, there's a section where the author describes what he calls, "Teflon Men", and that they are sort of an amalgamation of traits such as appearing perfect or flawless as a sort of self-defense mechanism, however, the author states they are actually slipper, lifeless, vague, and hard to truly form a connection with.

This section in particular seems to tie into my life pretty strongly in the way that I second guess how much of a facade I put on and how much I legitimately try to break out of my shell as a shy person. For example, it doesn't really make sense to me to "be myself" and continue to live the shy and quiet life I had when I was younger, especially since that personality stemmed from low confidence in the past.

However, let's say I try to be lively or active in conversation with people, even if it's for a few moments, would that be an inaccurate representation of who I am as a person, thus creating fake relationships with people? If you wanted to look at it deeper, would a true connection with let's say a female companion be one where they accept me as a shy, quiet, and ultimately unconfident kind of guy? Or would it be better to try and continue my self-improvement and say things that I want to say or do, even if it fails or the other person doesn't "get it", since I myself would be happy, if not anxious, about putting myself out there and facing rejection as a normal part of life.

Of course I am going to agree with the second theory, but I feel like this can be a little bit of a messy line when it comes to the book and I wanted to know what seddit things of this, either people that have or haven't read the book.