Oneitis advice?

luaudesign · 2017-12-19T23:39:57+00:00

The cure for oneitis is manyitis.

wabbit82 · 2017-12-20T08:15:15+00:00

Listen, I'm not going to pretend that I got this shit all figured out, but I was once under an oneitis spell. And to make things worse it was a coworker of mine, that sits like 2 feet away from me so I was forced to be near her, daily. She would say that she saw me only as a friend, but would still string me along and send mixed signals and it kept me in a constant state of confusion. And man was it a bad one, I kept thinking about her constantly, every moment I would overanalyze her actions, she would be the last thing I would think of before going to sleep, and the first after waking up. Not even in my dreams was I safe. I felt like I was losing my mind, and I do think that it damaged me bit in a way, but if I managed to get out of it, so can you. The trick is to take your mind off of her by keeping yourself busy and hanging out with friends/other girls. The point I'm making is to make your life as interesting as possible, just go out and do stuff, go take dancing lessons, join the gym, take language classes, start trading bitcoin if thats your thing, anything to keep you busy. Soon you'll you'll have no time to think about her, because of all the awesome shit that's happening to you.

She's really not that special. Maybe she's pretty, but a whole bunch of other girls are. Is she funny? Well so is that other girl you met at that salsa class you took.

In a way you should be glad that this happened to you because that experience will male you get out of your comfort zone, and to start working on yourself. I would be less of a person today if I didn't have that oneitis to fire a spark that would lead me to a path I am currently on. Think of it as a gift that universe has sent you. Now just, relax, enjoy the ride, and make yourself and your life, as awesome as you can.

79trombones · 2017-12-21T12:54:34+00:00

Most young males operating in a scarcity mindset catch the disease Oneitis at some point in their young adult lives. If not promptly caught and cured, Oneitis can take years away from one’s life. You can pour all your time and energy into a lost cause instead of using it to improve yourself. Having suffered myself from a very dire case of the disease, I am accustomed to the symptoms. The symptoms of Oneitis can include:

Spending an abnormal amount of time thinking and obsessing over one girl.
Believing that one girl is completely different from every other girl that you have ever met.
Believing that one girl is the most beautiful girl in the world.
Believing that there is no other girl for you but her.
Believing that no one else could ever match the love that you have for a girl.
Believing that a girl is absolutely perfect and could do no wrong in your eyes.
Putting a girl before everything else in your life.

An additional symptom would include not seeing anything wrong with holding the above beliefs. You may believe that if a girl only truly knew how much you cared about her, that she would love you in return. However, this is not the way attraction or love actually works. When you truly love a person, you do not need anything from them in return. Arriving at this realization took me years and was the most painful lesson that I have ever had to learn. There is no such thing as “the one,” but only people who are more or less compatible together. Love is something you build, not something you find.

While I have no doubt that the feelings which you have are genuine, these feelings originate from a place of scarcity and fear. You may mistake the burning desire you have for a woman as the being the truest form of love. Fear resulting from scarcity infiltrates the heart and amplifies certain emotions to an unhealthy level. If this is the first time that you have ever felt this way, then you may be terrified of losing the woman for whom you feel these feelings. You may fear that you may never again feel this same way about anyone else. The truth is that you may be right. However, this is not due to you having lost out on the love of your life, but to the fact that you no longer live in scarcity. Once the scarcity mindset is removed, you can find someone with whom you can have a relationship with that is built on positive emotions, instead of the hidden underlying emotions of loneliness and fear.

Now looking back, having my heart broken was one of the best things that could have ever happened to me. Had a need based relationship instead ensued, I would have never become the person I am today. I would have unknowingly submitted to comfort and security rather than venturing out into the world to learn its truths for myself. I would have remained a weak man and never developed the deep self-love, self-confidence and self-reliance which are prerequisites to unselfishly loving another person.

Excerpt from the book: Fundamentals of Female Dynamics by Michael Knight

Gazela1997 · 2017-12-20T00:26:07+00:00

Bro I feel you

Its so fcking hard cause its like always in your mind at the beginning. The cure to oneitis is you gotta focus on other shit. Literally school, work, gym w/e. Its gonna be tough tho, because you won't be able to just stop focusing on her so you gotta literally make yourself focus on other stuff.

Advice: if you suffer from oneitis, its probably due to the fact that your mission in life in not big enough. You should have that mindset of "If she's with me, great, if not, well Im sad but its life. So I can't focus on her because I have more important shit to do. (make money, get ripped, advance your career etc)

Talking to many girls helps as well because your focus just completely switches over.

Title	Oneitis advice?
Author	Marioshow98
Upvotes	2
Comments	7
Date	December 19, 2017 10:24 PM UTC (8 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/7kwsmp/oneitis_advice/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/oneitis-advice.1438735 https://theredarchive.com/post/1438735

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