Opinions, men?

recyclablebantha · 2013-04-04T11:12:51+00:00

You might consider a cross-post into /r/relationships, considering you're wondering more about keeping a guy, as opposed to how to pick-up on guys.

That said, what the hell, I'll take a crack at it.

I'm very interested in him but he doesn't text me or seem to want to talk at all between periods of me being in his town or him being in mine (where then, I feel like whatever I'm feeling is mutual) Should I just give it up? Should I text him first? I feel like I've initiated every conversation/interaction and I don't usually do that. How would you feel if you met a girl who lived 3 hours away? Would you think it was pointless to think of her as anything more than a random hook up every couple weeks?

First off, there's no substitute for getting your information straight from the horse's mouth. We can really only guess. But in the name of guessing......

If it's one-sided...... if he shows interest enough when you're there, but you are initiating everything and he's not interested in communicating when you're not in town.... then he's likely just in it for a hook-up. And as long as I'm theorizing this much, I'd go so far as to say that you can't really hold it against him: It's kind of difficult for some people to maintain a relationship with someone who is not in the immediate vicinity. It's not just the 3 hours distance, one way..... It's realizing that we're talking about a 6 hour round-trip that would kill it, I think.

Coglioni · 2013-04-04T16:39:03+00:00

I get an impression that when most girls are having some sort of connection with a guy, and he's not initiating every conversation, they think he's not interested. I don't know this particular case well enough, but on a general basis I think that many girls need to realize that if a guy doesn't text you all the time, it's not necessarily because he's not interested. He might be afraid of coming across as needy or desperate, and tries to get you to chase him a bit as well. Of course, there are a lot of aspects to take into consideration when flirting with someone, and I think recyclablebantha said it well. Anyways, let us know how everything turn out!

2013-04-04T15:14:07+00:00

"Would you think it was pointless to think of her as anything more than a random hook up every couple weeks?"

usually yeah, sorry.

itsmevichet · 2013-04-04T14:52:51+00:00

Your logistics are all screwed up.

I have a blog where I discuss the necessary ingredients for a long term relationship. Your main issue right now is proximity.

I'm not saying things can't ever work out with this guy. But, in terms of communication with a girl he just met - even if she's awesome (you better be if you expect that kind of investment) - what's going to make this guy really want to spend time skyping with you when he barely has the time to actually go see you?

Also, again, you two barely know each other. Maybe he doesn't see you as girlfriend material. Again, not that he will never see you that way, but he hasn't had much of an opportunity to actually know whether you're worth it.

The biggest factor here, again, is that you're far away from him. And, it's not like you two had known each other for years before that distance presented itself. So, he's handling it how I'd see any level-headed guy handling it.

Unless the distance isn't an issue, there's no way to know whether it's you, or him, or whatever.

turnpikenorth · 2013-04-04T15:28:06+00:00

The three hours thing would make me only view it as a hook up every now and then. Sorry, I know that's not what you want to hear, but its the truth. As for whether or not you should text him first, only if you have something specific to say, don't text first just to be like, "Hey how was your day?"

fall0ut · 2013-04-04T17:01:21+00:00

Personally I would view this relationship as just casual sex. If she lived closer and she was actually cool to talk to then I would pursue her. But in my opinion a long distance relationship is not worth your or his time.

Find a dude in your area IMO.

streetsof108 · 2013-04-04T17:06:11+00:00

Sounds like he's just not trying to GF you. If I was him 3 hours would be a deal-breaker (especially since I don't have a car!). Haha, don't let it bug you and I guess you might as well keep your eyes open for other opportunities.

Bender_Jones · 2013-04-04T16:09:36+00:00

You gave it up too soon, gotta let feelings establish before sex otherwise we get over it.

ben0wn4g3 · 2013-04-04T15:47:13+00:00

He's just not that I to you (that's the film title right?)

zx3 · 2013-04-04T13:44:22+00:00

From a guys perspective who has experience you can only do so much. It takes two to tango, plus it's the mans job to initiate ALWAYS. However that doesn't mean you can't approach guys you like or text them, it's completely normal.

For your situation it's tough because distance is the issue. Even if he likes you a lot, the distance will hurt whatever is going on. 3 hrs is a long way so if he isn't texting back distance is the issue.

If it was me personally and I really liked the girl, eventually reality would come into play and 3 hrs would have done it for me. Life happens, people have work, school, other shit going on. Just as a side note and I don't want to make you think bad here, if the guys doesn't have options or is typical a shy loser the distance won't be an issue, if he has options or at least makes an effort to meet women then it will be.

Hope that helps

Title	Opinions, men?
Author	Freeflower
Upvotes	7
Comments	21
Date	April 4, 2013 11:04 AM UTC (13 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/1bnjil/opinions_men/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/opinions-men.1350036 https://theredarchive.com/post/1350036

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