Oh god part three, this is either where I close off like everyone hoped or I fuck it all up. Maybe I'll just give you the choice of different endings with different coloured explosions…

I should stress at this point that the difference between the words is not what is important here. Semantics is important but I'm using these words to pigeon hole two different ideals: an ideal that people think is a good ideal to have when in reality it's actually the second ideal that they should be portraying. For someone people these differences will be obvious, for others they will be a mind blowing experience.

My goal is not to blow everyone's mind but I feel these word pair distinctions are a crucial grounding for seduction, pickup and life.

Here's the first two parts if you missed them:

I. Nice vs. Kind: http://redd.it/1aew73 II. Factual vs. Interesting: http://redd.it/1aoppl

Part Three: Funny vs. Fun

Funny:

This is going to be a tough one to type out. I've done stand up a few times, I even did a few sketches with a short lived group, I was brought up on Monty Python, I love comedy. I really do. And now I'm about to tell you why it's a bad and a horrible thing.

Well sort of. If you can tell jokes and make people laugh there is honestly nothing wrong with that, everyone does it. Humour is a great social tool, if you make someone laugh they'll more than likely forget everything else and remember how funny you are.

The danger with comedy is when it starts becoming your personal high. The only way you can be happy is if you are making others happy. If jokes are your only social tools then it becomes a major problem because you can't turn the comedy off, you always feel the need to be coming up with a joke or a one liner. There is the expectation that you must say something funny right now.

Some of this comes from the male phenomenon of "banter". Probably not well known in America, but banter is basically what a bunch of guys do on a night out they start telling jokes and stories with the goal being one-upsmanship, spilling beer everywhere and making weird noises when the jokes run dry. This practice seeped out of the alcohol fuelled discussions and has become the way a lot of males communicate, there's no discussion anymore just jokes, arguments and "waheeeeeeeeeey".

In the wrong hands comedy goes from being a quality people look for to an annoying qualification measure used in man on man verbal combat. Why and how does this transformation occur? The best answer I can offer is its when a tool becomes a weapon.

Comedy is great when it is meant with a light heart and open mind, if you can present an insult in a light hearted off beat manner it goes from insult to neg. Problems arise when you take the light heartedness out of the insult and start genuinely targeting people. Insult comics exist in this world I know that for a fact, but no insult comic I know of ever claims to be fantastic at seduction.

The great comedians out there aren't just looking for laugh after laugh, they are looking to take you on an emotional rollercoaster of highs and lows. The recognition of an on beat and off beat moments, if you can time a joke on an off beat it becomes ten times funnier than one on beat.

It's hard for me to take comedy out behind the house and shoot it point blanc with a shotgun. Jokes aren't what you should be aiming to fill conversation with, laughter can very easily go from a reassurance that makes someone open up and lower their defences to a long string of "please qualify me, please qualify me, please, pleeeease". Like all seduction and in this case social tools there is the time and the place for humour, you wouldn't use a hammer to gain every result in every walk of life. The same goes for humour.

  **Fun**  So what difference does two letters make? What is the difference between fun and fun(ny)? Well part of the difference comes from human being's primary communication method is speech, we depend on speech so much that we often forget our non verbal abilities.  I would define *funny* as **"a verbal practice that results in enjoyment"**, where as *fun* is **"a non verbal practice that results in the same enjoyment"**. It's **state over statement**. Funny tends to be causation, whereas fun is more of a permanent demonstration.  Both are great qualities to have but when it comes to seduction and demonstrating your best self fun is more important over funny. **Being able to enjoy yourself regardless of the scenario** and an aura of being content and happy is something that people strive for in life. There are books dedicated to happiness and movies where Will Smith cries for it.   Before I go any further I need to talk about **toe-dipping and emersion**.  I can't remember who I picked this up from (I'm going to guess Tyler from RSD). Toe-dipping in an experience in life that we tend to tell people in life about: "oh I tried that restaurant around the corner, it was rubbish". Now did that person actually have a meal at the restaurant, was it just one experience that went really badly, or did they go and no one could find them a table. Toe-dipping is a trait we've been taught throughout life "just have a little bit and decide if you want it all", if you ever dip your toe into the water of a bath or a pool you get that initial shock and decide it's too cold to get in. But **if you actually immerse yourself in it that initial shock is over very quickly and you actually adapt and begin to enjoy it.**  Why is this important? Because **fun is about letting go and enjoying yourself**, immersing yourself in whatever ecstasy you choose to participate in (preferably not actual ecstasy).  One easy way to start enjoying yourself is to find fun in the most mundane moments. I used to walk to work, because I couldn't drive at the time, this mean getting up at 5:50 AM every day and rushing my morning routine to get a train in less than 40 minutes time. But I found enjoyment in it because of wildlife, I walked to the station twice with a fox following me, several times cats would follow me in the morning, the streets were quiet apart from birdsong. It was something that I got to experience every day away from the humdrum.  Nowadays I have a car and have the pleasure of sitting in traffic jams, where I sit and make faces at motorists going the opposite direction. If it gets really bad I start practicing regional accents, or drumming in odd time signatures. If you can have fun in a confined space you have fun anywhere.   Some people out there would probably read that and think "who the hell would employ someone so childish?". Well the funny thing is at work I'm pretty sensible, because it’s the time I need to earn money and make sure that the place I work for isn't going to fall over from my incompetence. I'm willing to be sensible and get shit done for those few hours at work because **I feel like I have an abundance of free time anyway**. Even if I have a weekend's worth of stuff to do I see it as a few few hours scattered around of stuff that I want to do because I need to do it.  **Fun plays an important role in the abundance mindset**. Once you start looking at tasks in life with the Mary Poppins ethos of finding the smallest element of fun within a task in a second the task becomes fun. It's an important step in the abundance mind set to turn things you have to do into things you want to do and from there to **start finding enjoyment in everything you do**.  A final word on bars and nightclubs. I have an honest problem with people who want to go clubbing. The idea of a nightclub is to dance and meet people, most people I know won't talk or dance with people unless they are drunk, so why go somewhere you don't actually want to go to in the first place?! The second problem I have with nightclubs is that if you go there to meet people the environment is all wrong. As I pointed out earlier human's basic communication is speech based, in the noise of a club no one can hear you speak (or scream) and with the bright flashing lights what you can see is very limited.  This is where the funny man falls and the fun man prospers.   If you can enjoy yourself in an environment like that without the need of alcohol you can exploit the fact that when **a sense is lost the dependence on the others is heightened**. Take out visual and aural and you are left with taste, smell and touch. Smell and taste are largely irrelevant, unless you think about them in terms of grooming (after shave and flossing), but touch is your kino escalation a key stepping stone.   **So fun is self enjoyment, projected to allow others to enjoy your company and feel better about themselves.** Comedy has its place, but it's certainly not in the clubs.   Next up is: random vs. spontaneous  *P.S. Sort of in a rush to proof read this, I had it written and forgot to mail it to myself at work, so I'm going for a run and I'll probably nail the rest of the typos later :)*