I don't usually visit strip clubs because what's the point? You either leave there with blue balls or else they are hookers which I'm not interested in anyway. The best part of getting laid for me is that there's a girl who mutually respects you and is attracted to you, and considers you worthy of her pussy's free time. When I reflect back and smile at an encounter, the orgasm part is not nearly as enticing as the making out, the lust, looking into her hungry eyes, etc. I love falling in love with somebody for a few hours, it's very validating and life affirming. It's like being in your own live action romance movie that has a clear beginning, middle, and end.

At any rate, I was in Baltimore one evening after a meeting and I felt like having a drink, so I stopped by a strip club since I haven't been to one in a long time and I wanted to see what it was like.

I drank a few beers and watched a few dancers while sitting at a distant table. The dancers seemed bored for the most part, and so did the patrons. Everybody was just sort of glumly watching. Every guy at this time of day was there alone, probably avoiding their wives after work, so it had a total creep vibe. There weren't the usual nighttime groups of revelers who are there to party and hang with their buds. Just old solo creeps.

Then walks out a very attractive young dancer with great legs, and she starts to absolutely go to town on "Welcome to the Jungle", like lip syncing every word, whipping her hair like Axel, climbing up the pole and acting like a clown really. Doing contortions that were not very flattering to herself in order to do her silly routine. The old dudes at the stage did not seem very impressed.

Well seeing this absolutely delighted me and I started laughing with mouth agape toward the stage. This immediately caught her eye and she starts directing her routine to me in the back, smiling at me the entire time. I realized she was really appreciating my appreciation so I hammed it up even further, pretending that it was totally cracking me up, and she herself started laughing on stage.

After her song was done, and almost without breaking eye contact, she collected some dollars off the stage and approached me in the back while putting her top back on.

I told her to sit down and put her legs up on my lap (I'm a leg guy and I wanted to stroke hers), then I introduced myself. She said her name is "Alexis" in air quotes but tells me her real name is Karen. I told her, "holy shit, am I getting the REAL name? That's rare!"

I told her how her routine delighted me, how I just stopped in for a drink and never imagined to laugh so hard. She loves this and claims she's not like other dancers, that's she's just here to have fun with it. She's a student at a local college and doing this to pay the bills. She thinks of it as a big joke and would never tell her family or friends about it. Claims the managers hate her unsexy routines but put up with it because she was hottest girl there (I agreed from what I was seeing).

She complains about all the old men that she has to lap dance. She finds it sad more than anything. I continue to stroke her legs and she says it feels good after dancing.

I told her I didn't want a lap dance, but then I said, "I'm going to say something so stupid right now. It's a creepy old man thing to say and you probably heard it a hundred times and I would never ever say this normally in a million years..."

"You want my number?" she said, not forcing me to complete my woody allen like sentence

I handed her my phone and she entered her info. As always, at this moment I excuse myself on important business so that I don't fuck things up by continuing to talk. I kissed her on the lips European style on the way out. I considered that a good sign that I wasn't being catfished by a hooker since they allegedly don't kiss.

We went on a date that weekend where we drank rum from a brown bag by the waterfront and just sort of stumbled around acting like idiots and laughing like crazy. She actually wasn't very strippery after all. Definitely educated, well spoken, with a charming sort of honesty and realness. I definitely liked her. I kept joking about how she better not be a secret hooker.

I fucked her in her apartment that night, and she definitely fucked like a stripper! It was like getting a penetrative lap dance service where she got my cock all hard, then put the condom on for me, and rode me hard. Sort of like reverse of what I'm used to where the girl just lays there and I do all the work. She was letting me be the lazy pierre and it was glorious!

At the end, while we were cuddling, she says, "Now there's the matter of my fee." And she had me going for a second, then busted out laughing. Cool chick.

I have kept in touch with her since but haven't seen her again yet as I haven't been back that way yet. We understand each other's situations and I am to consider her a girl in the Baltimore port with whom I can crash and hang with any time. So it also saves on hotel fees in Baltimore. I told her to do the same if she ever came out my way and I hope she does! Super fun chick.