I’m a 47-year-old moderately handsome guy with decent flirtation skills and high emotional intelligence. I am in a very happy, very open marriage. My lifestyle is a lot like any single guy who openly enjoys dating, but is also openly not looking for serious commitment. There’s no weird rules from my wife. I’m about as accessible as any single guy and the women I date are never complaining that I am too busy for them or anything like that.

I have a very comfortable lane I stay in. The vast majority of my dates come from Feeld. The girls there are particularly cool and experienced with ethical non-monogamy. The dating profile aspect allows me to lay all my cards out on the table, so there’s no surprises.

The problem: I really want to try cold approaches in public but I feel kind of dishonest or at least like a woman would see me as dishonest. I work in NYC and like 100 times a day I want to go up to a woman and say, “hey I saw you from across the platform. I think you’re beautiful and I would love to get to know you. Can I have your phone number to text you?”

I just feel like if that goes well and I start texting her, then I have to reveal that I’m actually married and get into a whole open marriage/ ENM discussion. I feel like it comes across as sleazy and like I had a secret I was hiding, even though that’s not true.

Very curious what you guys think about this? Am I just in my head about it? Any chance there are any other ENM guys here who know what I’m talking about?