Problem with Getting Laid in Sobriety

hinch1998 · 2018-12-29T23:35:46+00:00

First of all, congrats on your sobriety bro. The best way to fight addiction is to replace it with a different (and healthier) one, which in your case, seems to be physical exercise. That's no beta male shit. Give yourself credit for turning your life around. I'm sure you've seen some results in your physique, and just imagine how much of a beast you'll be in one year's time if you keep it up.

I can relate to your situation. I've gotten in shape lately and that has helped me realize that I now look good enough to get girls, but because of my lack of previous experience, it still doesn't come easy to me.

In my recent experience, something that can help is having something distinct about you, particularly your physical appearance. For example, I got a face piercing (nose ring) and I'm considering a few tattoos. It makes it easier to identify which girls are into you and which are not. I learned to not give a fuck about girls that don't care about me and focus on girls who are more obviously interested, if you know a girl is probably into you before you even start the conversation, your chances are much better.

Set the tone strong. I don't like to ask a lot of initial questions because that can lead to a conversation that seems more like an interview. Also, don't just make observations about her because you could get something wrong or say something you don't really mean because you're just trying to say something.

Good topics include a weird passion of yours or something you can teach her. Niche music, some youtube conspiracy theory, your desire to be in a movie with Dwayne the Rock Johnson, literally whatever the fuck you want. I like to make it a conversation where we teach each other some little things and then branch off with comments and hypotheses about each other's personal spins on the topic. Try to make it personal, and relate things back to her feelings and her opinions, but don't always agree with everything she says (That can come off as beta male shit.). This is the time to gauge her creativity and if she has a sense of humor. If you say some crazy shit (use your judgement--- nothing extreme), and she throws some crazy shit back, that's a good sign. That means that you're stimulating and entertaining each other.

Physical contact and eye contact is key with this stuff, even if it's just a hand on her shoulder as you say something (It helps if you talk with your hands because then it's not weird. Think of it --- if you're talking to a girl right in front of you and your hands are up in front of your shoulders, it's not weird if you place one on her shoulder when you say something of emphasis, but if you take your hand out of your pocket and put it there, she's gonna be like "Woah where did that come from?"

My best pick up line in real life and on tinder is:

Me: "Can I be honest with you?"

Girl: "Yes"

Me: "I can tell you put genuine thought and effort into looking good and I want you to know that I both admire and respect that."

If you want, you can comment on something particular about her appearance and tell her that she's beautifully unique, which plenty of girls are. Girls who reject this approach are not worth your time.

For taking it to the next level, my usual line is something like "I can't stop thinking about how much I want to kiss you." Again, this will make it clear if she is into you or not. If she is NOT, she will say nothing, say "wtf" or change the conversation real quick. Yes, it may be awkward, but just be glad you didn't get rejected going in for the kiss. If she doesn't say anything, but smiles at you, don't say anything back. Sexual tension + silence = more sexual tension. This is the time to make your move. Look her in the eyes, look at her lips for half a second, look back at her eyes, and kiss her like the world is ending (and don't be afraid to moan ---- porn has told us that ideal men are nonvocal which is a turn off for most women).

Best of luck bro, cheers again to your first two years of sobriety!

pilipinonguci11 · 2018-12-30T01:48:40+00:00

First off, don't smoke pot or drink alcohol to cure your anxiety. It's a short-term solution with dire long-term consequences.

When you crush your anxiety and can approach girls without needing weed/alcohol, you basically go god-mode because you're fully aware of what's happening in the moment.

I'd recommend to stop using online apps and instead cold approach women in person. If you need help with that, read "Models" by Mark Manson and watch Todd V Dating's youtube videos. Maybe RSD for extra motivation (although they're not that great for technique).

Title	Problem with Getting Laid in Sobriety
Author	cuckmaker420
Upvotes	3
Comments	2
Date	December 29, 2018 9:19 PM UTC (7 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/aap4v3/problem_with_getting_laid_in_sobriety/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/problem-with-getting-laid-in-sobriety.1459553 https://theredarchive.com/post/1459553

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