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[–]mairodia 5 points6 points7 points 11 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Sometimes it's small things that make you seem awkward- maybe you say "um" or "uh" or pause too much when you're speaking, maybe you do little physical things like rubbing the back of your neck or your shoulder. It's also that you could just be saying things that people aren't used to- like whenever people would ask me how I'm doing, I would never say "good" or "great" like people expect- I'd say that I'm "adequate" or some other bs, and it sets people off on the wrong foot.
tl;dr: It's the little things you're not noticing.
[–]emeczka3 points 11 years ago [recovered] (6 children) | Copy Link
Any examples? Because right now it's really hard to say anything. Sometimes I like awkward guys - it depends. You can be awkward in a cute or funny way or you can be really hard to spend time with awkward
[–]TouringMedal23 points 11 years ago [recovered] (5 children) | Copy Link
Honestly, it's hard for me to say. For example, one night with a girl we were laughing about anything and everything in life, and when I was hooking up with her I was talking about how I was awkward in high school and she said that I still am awkward, jokingly.
Another time, I was trying to hang out with a girl on tinder, and I was talking to her the same way I would any other person, and she called me awkward and unmatched me. In the second scenario I'd imagine the awkwardness comes from the dissonance between me talking to her like a friend, and me wanting to hook up with her in my actions.
[–]emeczka3 points 11 years ago [recovered] (1 child) | Copy Link
the first one sounds for me like a normal joke - I have that kind of sense of humor and I would say something like that to the person who I know really well and I like him/her (not necessary like in a romantic way). It doesn't mean that she think this way - it depends on her personality of course, but for me it could be just a joke, especially that you were laughing from everything in life, so she started to laugh from it as well. The other thing is... some girls are mean to the person who they like, e.g., me. I know that it's not mature to behave like that, but sometimes we can't help it. We are too nervous to do it the other way, especially if we are friends with this person
And the tinder thing - maybe she was waiting for a huge flirt and you were talking to her like to a friend? I don't know, but both cases don't sound like you are really awkward. Believe me - if girl from the first example would think that you are awkward in a bad way, she wouldn't spend time with you
[–]Big_TX 0 points1 point2 points 11 years ago* (2 children) | Copy Link
If you were to transcribe the conversation maybe we could give you a real answer. There is no posie why to know how what is awkward about your behavior if we don't know how to behave. I guess if your going to ask a question or say a nice thing first think "how will could the person respondl?" Usualy when people are awkward is because the ask me something or say something to me that there is no way to respond to. Or I'd have to say something way out of my character to respond. And when people do that to me consistantly it makes me not want to talk to them.
Another one is pay attenshion to if soneone is saying a fact or what they think. Sometime I'll say a fact, then the person is like "oh who knows" and in my head I am like "Me i fuckink know I just told you how it is!!!! Ughhhh". But ovsiously I don't say that. So I have to either disagree with a fact I just stated (which I don't wanna do) or do some Unsmooth laught/uhha and change the subject, which is awkward. I'd rather let what they say make it a little awkward than be rude, or dissagree with my self and the fact I stated.
After a certainty point you need to know what they believe. There was a kid in my guitar class in HS why would alwayse make little jokes when the teacher did something not smooth. I liked my teacher a lot and I respected him and was not going to laughf at him for some dumb little thing. But that kid never figured that out and he kept makeing his dumb jokes and snide remarks about the teacher, but I never laughfed because I respected the teacher. So he just kept making it awkward.
If you keep making jokes that are not appropret to your audience that's awkward.
I hope that helpsf If you give us an actual example we could probably help you further
Edint: if you control the frame and hold a frame of "this is normal and how one should act becaue... (We are adults, we are confident, we are cool people,...) it make it either not awkward or it makes her be the awkward one.
[–]TouringMedal2 0 points1 point2 points 11 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Unfortunately, as it was tinder, and she unmatched me, it would be impossible for me to show the transcript. But thank you very much for your response!
[–]Big_TX 0 points1 point2 points 11 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Your Welcome hope it helped!
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[–]mairodia 5 points6 points7 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]emeczka3 points [recovered] (6 children) | Copy Link
[–]TouringMedal23 points [recovered] (5 children) | Copy Link
[–]emeczka3 points [recovered] (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]Big_TX 0 points1 point2 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]TouringMedal2 0 points1 point2 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]Big_TX 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link