Hey seddit!

I'll try to make this as brief as I can

Backstory: Beside my regular job I also do some volunteer bar-tending at a nice little cafe. One night at my shift I had a nice interaction with a girl I was serving. Not much talking, a couple of nice looks and smiles here and there, a nice IOI from her garbing my hand when I handed her the change. Being busy, I couldn't really talk to her, but when her and her friends left, I just went up to her and told her she is mega cute and that I'd like to take her out for coffee sometimes. She says yes with a big smile and I get her number, hug her and say bye. One week later I meet up with her and we have a really great time. We kiss, and overall just have a nice fun interaction. To the point where I said I have to go home and she asks that we stay for one more beer. One more beer it is, but still went home on our own. I didn't want to take her home and I'm not saying I could have, but that was perfectly fine with me as I don't mind taking my time for sex. Next evening I text her saying I had a really nice time with her and I get a reply like : "Yes it was nice :), but I've though about it and I don't think I'm up for anything anymore. Sorry about that." Bam! just like that.

Now, you could argue that she was just down to fuck and that I didn't seize the opportunity. But that's not what I'm looking for in dates anyway, so if that's all she wanted then maybe it's best it happened this way. Although I didn't feel that things escalated that night to actually end in that.

Point to this story is that, rejections can happen at any point, even when you feel confident that things are going well. Maybe it was something I said, maybe it was just circumstances, maybe she actually didn't enjoy it as much as I did despite all the signs pointing otherwise. I can't say that that didn't hurt, especially since she didn't give me an explanation for it, so that I could profit and learn from mistakes (if it was even my mistake in the first place).

Rejection hurts, and I have no idea if I actually will be able to build an immune system against it (partly because I tend to be quite an emotional guy).

Oh well, can't win em all, but you can sure try :)

*EDIT: Follow-up: I was writing this just after she texted me. I did send her a text as a reply. Here is the conversation: Me: "Oh wow, any chance I can get an explanation for that?" Her:" Well yea sure. It's just that even though I had a really nice time, I just didn't really feel it... And also everything is really stressful to me right now... " + some more bla bla about her being busy and stressed out. Which to be honest, does sound like it's true, she does have a lot of things going on from what she told me and she seemed quite ambitious about it. Me: "Heh, fair enough. It there's one thing I appreciate, it's honesty. Best of luck with your exam and have a nice life ;)" Her:" Thank you so much, and have a nice trip! It was really nice meeting you though."

So yeah, I actually felt a lot better afterwards. Not because she tried to soften the blow, but because of that line: "I didn't really feel it..." I know I won't be able to attract all girls, especially random ones I pick up without even having a proper conversation before.

As a conclusion, even with all the right signs (kissing, asking to stay more, leaning against me at the bar) you never really know, so don't get your hopes up too early.

And also thanks for the replies guys! It's not easy but eventually you will find the right girls for you, I know I have before.