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[–]ClitFiddlin 3 points4 points5 points 9 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Personally, no I don't think you're scummy at all. You hung out with them and had fun, there should have been no expectation of being exclusive from either of you.
With that being said, I usually like to talk about it at some point because there are some people that feel like even if you're just hanging out and going on dates that there is an expectation that you're only dating them. It's better to have the conversation, even if it's awkward, so feelings don't get hurt, and everyone understands what is expected.
[–]ClosetSloth 0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Thanks. I think in the future I'd like to be pretty forthcoming about it, but not necessarily after just talking and a couple meetups over a few weeks.
[–]ClitFiddlin 2 points3 points4 points 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Yeah, it can be tricky to bring it up. Sometimes the girl will bring it up, especially if she's suspects you're dating other girls (reveals a little of her own insecurities if she does bring it up). She may ask early on, before you're ready to really get into that conversation, if you're dating other people or bring it up like "you were busy with your other girls....", or something along those lines. Be playful and vague. I generally hit them with a "Come on, you know I don't kiss and tell".
At some point it'll probably come up. Just be ready with what you're going to say. I would suggest not lying, but be vague. My response was always something along the lines of 'for me, dating isn't exclusive, we are both free to do as we please. There are no expectations. If I ever get to a point of being in a monogamous relationship, I don't mess around and I'm committed to that'.
Some women won't accept this at all. That's fine. At least that's out there and you can figure out what you want to do. For most women, it's fine and the competition will breed attraction.
[–]AR-47 2 points3 points4 points 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
If you haven't had the "exclusive talk" and are just at the dating stage of things, you're fine. Dating is just getting to know people to see if they're worth getting serious with. There's no rule saying you can't date multiple people.
[–]ethical_slut 2 points3 points4 points 9 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Yeah of course she would be offended, that's to be expected when you're rejecting someone outright. Doubly so when you're choosing someone else over them. Happens all the time, not a big deal except when you're on the receiving end. Then it kind of sucks. Then you move on.
I agree that this is probably the case. I don't think she thinks I was out of line. Possibly just bummed out. Thanks!
[–]ethical_slut 0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Np. You did right by her and the hivemind. Understandably you will pretty much be guaranteed a bad reaction when ending things with someone, but that's just how people react to bad news. Don't let it deter you from being up front and fair with people when you can. Keep up the good stuff.
[–]greenidiot314 1 point2 points3 points 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
If you're a fun person some women are ok with being around you if you also have other "friends". You could possibly be hooking up with the same 3 or 4 girls in the time span of a month if you play your cards right. Although, most women probably aren't ok with sleeping with a guy who may have slept with 2 or 3 other women in the same week, but if you use protection and have good hygiene and don't bring it up you can tally the numbers later.
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[–]ClitFiddlin 3 points4 points5 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]ClosetSloth 0 points1 point2 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]ClitFiddlin 2 points3 points4 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]AR-47 2 points3 points4 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]ethical_slut 2 points3 points4 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]ClosetSloth 0 points1 point2 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]ethical_slut 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]greenidiot314 1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link