Hey everyone,

This might be a bit long, but I’m putting my heart into it. I’m genuinely seeking advice and trying to change for the better, so I’d appreciate constructive feedback without negativity.

I’m a 26-year-old South Asian male currently studying in the UK. I’ve never truly loved anyone or had deep feelings for anyone. I’ve had attachments, but I’ve always been mentally prepared for people to leave. Perhaps it’s because I overthink and have a tendency to believe that people will always leave.

I’d like to share my experiences with a few girls I’ve had attachments with, their feedback about me, and what went wrong. I genuinely want to understand and improve myself, especially for future relationships and potential marriage.

Girl 1:
She was a close friend for three years. One day, she decided to end our friendship, saying it wasn’t worth continuing. It hurt, but I moved on.

Girl 2:
She said I was too boring and hard to talk to. I didn’t message her often or ask about her, giving the impression that I wasn’t interested. The truth is, sometimes I just don’t know what to say or how to keep conversations interesting.

Girl 3:
She thought I was arrogant and didn’t give her enough time. When I did, she mostly complained about things at university or her flat. I’m not a big fan of phone calls, but she wanted me to call and check in on her. I understand people can be busy, and I’m at a stage in my life where I need to focus on building my career and future.

What I’ve realized:

  • I may seem indifferent to people leaving, but it does hurt. I just deal with it internally, and I do feel lonely.
  • I’m not arrogant; I’m sarcastic, which can sometimes hurt people.
  • I might come across as boring because I struggle with daily conversation topics. After a while, it’s just “hello,” “hi,” and “how was your day.”

I’m not a jerk, even if I come off as one at times. I truly want to make changes. I’d greatly appreciate any guidance or advice from both men and women.

Thank you for reading.