Self-worth

Pedalcrunch · 2022-06-22T13:04:24+00:00

Don't let that girl bring you down bro, you tried, I don't even think the Text was that bad, she was just not interested, keep trying with different girls.

Cookies993 · 2022-06-22T13:13:44+00:00

The mindset of self-worth/knowing it’s time to move on, comes from having abundance mindset. Why spend time on her, when you can spend time with other girls that are interested. Ironically, when they notice that you have options and don’t put them on a pedestal, that’s when they start chasing. So abundance breeds abundance.

Just work on yourself and aim to be high-value, but always remember to have fun and don’t lose yourself to “game”.

TheNextBigCrash · 2022-06-22T14:09:15+00:00

It’s one of those things that’s hard to tell, until it isn’t. You’ll always be questioning “is this girl into me?” “Does she want to meet up?” “Why are her replies so short?”. If you find yourself asking these questions, you need to say to yourself: FUCK. NO.

And you will realise why when you eventually match with someone who IS interested. The difference is night and day. My best OLD matches have been girls who have no problem showing interest, don’t play stupid games, and actually put effort into a conversation. It hits you like a brick wall, and you think to yourself after a few messages “yep, she’s interested”. That’s the point you invite them out. None of this putting them on a pedestal, looking up to them with puppy dog eyes “you’re so very attractive goddess please go on a date with me.” Fuck that. If she isn’t showing signs of interest that’s her loss, let her go, unmatch immediately so she knows her wishy-washy one word answers don’t cut it, and find a match that actually respects you.

I’ve gone on dates with girls the same day as matching with them and they’ve always been girls who text properly and don’t leave you questioning “does she like me? Can I save this? How do I prove myself?”

OLD is very simple. She either wants to meet you, or she doesn’t, and you can 99% of the time tell which one she is within the first one or two messages.

FUCK YES or FUCK NO. There is no in between.

CocoBabeNYC · 2022-06-22T15:04:14+00:00

Well, you need to uncouple our self worth from whether females find you attractive or not.

Do a cost benefit analysis of this belief:

I can only feel worthy when women match with me/find me attractive.

Now be careful! I'm not asking you to list the advantages and disadvantages of women wanting to sleep with you. I'm asking you to list the advantages and disadvantages of tying your self esteem to how women perceive you.

For advantages you may list stuff like: -it feels great when a hot woman responds to me -it motivates me to pursue women and try to get together with them -it motivates me to self improve

On the disadvantages you can list stuff like:

-it's great when a woman approves of me, but if I get rejected, I get my soul crushed. -I'm letting others control my moods and therefore Inam a slave to them -being so desperate to be liked means that I will appear needy and this will turn people off. -I get so afraid of rejection that women can manipulate me easily and take advantage of me.

List as many as you can and decide whether the belief has a bigger advantage or disadvantage for you. Hopefully the latter. Once you do this, reframe the belief to a positive one. Something like: "It's great when women like me, but my self worth comes from my own achievements, from moments in my life that I am proud of, from me being a quality person, a good guy, who is honest, loyal and liked by his friends".

Then make a list of all the things that you have of value that you can offer.

Things like: your attention, compliments, protection, intimacy, sex, etc. These things are of great value to women. But if you give them away willy nilly, you are basically devaluing them. You should only exchange them for something of equal or greater value.

So if a woman you matched with is giving you one word answers, don't double text her. Don't write more than she writes. If she takes a while to respond, put her on ice and don't respond for a day. Don't invest more than she is investing. Once she gives you something of value, which can be as little as actually being responsive and thoughtful in her answers, can you start thinking about reciprocating with something else of value, like giving her a compliment. And if she is really interesting maybe you can award her by offering her to hang out with you.

This is how you should be thinking about these interactions.

DestinyChitChat · 2022-06-22T13:42:49+00:00

You're always going to have to strike a balance between trying too hard and not trying hard enough. It honestly comes down to personal preference.

Online is a numbers game. The more you put out there the better. Being a good conversationalist elevates your chances. But you also don't want to come off like a dancing monkey performing on stage with ridiculously unnecessary clever lines.

Best place to start is to show genuine interest in the other person. Asking open ended questions about things they find interesting. You can also make it fun by turning questions into statements to avoid it seeming like it's an interview. ex: "Where are you from?" vs "I can tell your from X." If that isn't enough to get them talking then you've done your part. It always takes two people to grow a romance.

Initial interest needs to be there. If it's not then the best you can do is step back and try again in a few weeks. You'll end up with one sided dry convos that go nowhere. As a man of value your time is valuable and you won't continuously entertain such mundane convo. It just starts to convey desperation after some time that you are willing to keep trying with someone who isn't making effort even if you are. So instead of trying to come up with something clever to get her to invest in the convo use ACTION and just step back from the whole thing entirely for a bit. Much better chance of creating intrigue that way.

Cheyemos · 2022-06-22T14:23:05+00:00

I know it’s gonna be a hard lesson to learn and even harder to put into practice, but: stop going for the “hot” chicks – they’re never worth it.

SadBox4529 · 2022-06-22T16:37:45+00:00

Bruh it’s only dating, that happens to me with almost every match. My messages depend on the pics she has, if I throw and it doesn’t stick I move on.

2022-06-22T16:38:13+00:00

Martial arts isn't going to help you, but do it if its fun. Maybe try eating higher protein foods, or gradually increasing your intake, or try consulting an expert.

Guys don't absolutely need to work out to succeed in dating, but it does help. There are plenty of average looking guys who don't work out with a great dating life. What helps much more is good dating interpersonal skills and having a very social life.

Online dating rarely works for men and requires you maximize your profile as much as possible and even that isn't a guarantee. So you should be meeting women in real life as well.

Avoid calling women really attractive, many interpret that as creepy coming from a stranger, and it is a shallow compliment. Like is the only reason you want to go out with her is because she is hot?

When a woman gives one word answers, I usually try a combination of asking questions, and self-amusing about some topic related to her. If that doesn't work, I then just try to get the date/number directly. Like maybe ask her what her favorite food is. And then ask her out.

Title	Self-worth
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	10
Comments	9
Date	June 22, 2022 12:55 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/vi4mql/selfworth/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/self-worth.1256371 https://theredarchive.com/post/1256371

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