There are 3 major steps I learned along the way in my explorations in the realm of sexuality and seduction. Consider the following if you will.

Step #1 eye appreciation: Women are meant to be looked at but how do you do it the right way? Do this the next time you approach a woman, or on a date. Take a step back from her, look her up and down, then give her a slight nod. That's it. Don't say a word. Nice guys talk themselves up into vulnerable pretzels, but the bad boys get the point across without all the effort. Also "nice" guys tend to stare and then look away when she looks towards them. They are frozen by her beauty but because they are so nice they don't want her to feel threatened by the stare, which may be a compassionate gesture, but in the real world they don't give away prizes for those kinds of gestures. No woman is going to walk up to you and say, "Hey I noticed you started looking away when I looked towards you and I got the feeling you found me attractive but didn't want me to feel uncomfortable by gawking at me with your mouth open, so you tried to spare me that discomfort by looking away. How kind of you. I love kindness in men, let's have a drink."

Sorry. In the real world that is not going to happen. Here your kindness will not be rewarded, which is sort of a shame because the world in general needs more kindness. Also when you hide behind things, be it a look away, a plant, a book, a newspaper--whatever it is, there is a good chance you will not be noticed, and if you are you'll likely come across as timid and weak, and perhaps even creepy. Sometimes you just have to be bold as they say, but what does that mean? Well in this case it means making sure she knows she is being looked at in a approving manner. Get out in front of her, take a few steps back, look her up and down, give her a slight nod, but don't say a word. Let the silence work its magic.

Do you know what the word unctuous means? I do but only because I've looked up the meaning recently. It's one of those words I run into from time to time and forgetting what it means only every single time, have to look it up over and over again. It means being excessively flattering in a servile and ingratiating manner--oily, subservient. This is the way you'll come across sometimes when you're fumbling around with a pick up line, and you're even a little bit nervous. Again, as a "nice" fellow you may have the best of intentions in how good you want to make her feel, but for what will come across you might as well hand her a bullwhip, and get on your hands and knees while telling her, "Please be gentle with me. I am not worthy!"

The beauty with this approach is that it really doesn't matter how nervous you are. You don't have to fumble around trying to think of the right words to say. Indeed at this point you may be so thunderstruck as to have a hard time putting words together. That's okay, you don't have to reveal that hand and she doesn't get a chance to mistake you being vulnerable, or even feeling outclassed because of the impact she is having on you, as weakness. You can just go silent after the nod.

If it seems like the "bad" boys so many women are attracted to don't seem to work as hard as you--it's because they don't because they know when to shut up and go silent, except they do it naturally, and unfortunately sometimes the silence is truly because they don't have much by way of affectionate emotions to express. Some "bad" boys are truly sociopaths that will harm her in time, but in the beginning they will be attracted to them like a moth to a flame. Why does this work?

I imagine it works because it gives her so many things she has been prepared to want. She's been influenced by the same fairy tales you've read. She has seen it in thousands of romance movies, read and fantasized about it in romance books too numerous to mention. It's the strong, silent type. The type bold enough to get in her face in ravish her in a intense, but non threatening way with his roaming eyes, but strong--not weak and servile.

Strangely enough you could be a sociopath with nary an emotion felt in your lifetime, but she'll feel much more at ease with you because of the honesty and boldness of getting in her face, then she does with the shy guy who has been stealing peeks at her from afar all night long, and sadly the shy guy could be the nicest fellow in all the land, and you could be an extremely abusive monster.

Hey I don't make the rules, I just tell you how things work in the world. Another thing she has anticipated from her youth is that the love of her life will come with an air of mystery. Silence at just the right time keeps her guessing. What's going on behind those eyes, does he use words? You'd be surprised by how many women have cave girl fantasies in some primal part of their brain where words are not spoken, and they are simply carried, or even dragged back by their hair to the cave dwelling. It's not "nice", basically its a rape fantasy, but it's so freaking primal it can overpower rational thought in some deep recess in her mind. When you go silent at the right time you stroke that primal urge that most "nice" guys can't even begin to touch.

As a kid I thought looks played a much bigger role than they actually do. I grew up watching Hollywood movies thinking if I looked like Brando in his prime, or Omar Sharif who just passed away this year (God bless), or Billy Dee Williams, or Tom Selleck in the 80s, or whoever (maybe "The Beebs" is who they go crazy for today), I wouldn't have to say much either, but it really goes beyond looks, there is a real "silent" technique that can ignite something in her that can go a long way towards what you may lack in natural good looks.

But eventually you have to talk right? So what's next you might be asking? In step two, my next installment, we'll cover more ground there. In the meantime for more tips please feel free to visit my youtube video. Admittedly not much unless you're into beautiful women dancing about and getting "jiggy?" with it, but the link below has some really great tips.

Thanks.