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crshaggy
[–]rangerdanger0707 8 years ago [recovered] (9 children) | Copy Link
You've got a classic case of "oneitis." It's in your title. You haven't taken her out on a date. You haven't initiated any sort of physical interaction (unless this just wasn't written in your post). You haven't established mutual physical/sexual attraction. These are some first priority objectives you need to accomplish WAY before you can start thinking, "She may be the one..."
Have you been in relationship before? It can COMPLETELY change your opinion of a girl. It has for EVERY girl I've ever been in a relationship with, for better or for worse. You don't know this girl past her being your coworker. You fantasize about her. You imagine a future with her. Before you even know her. It's okay, I do that too. But you NEED to know that your opinion of her is incredibly CLOUDED. You don't know what kind of baggage she's carrying or what sort of skeletons she's got in her closet. You don't know the negative sides of her personality. All you see are her positives, and you hyper-focus on these. You make them the WHOLE of her personality, her existence, her being. This is NOT the reality of an individual.
The very next thing you should do if you're interested in her is ask her out on a date.
edit: grammar
[–]Gilthane 1 point2 points3 points 8 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
So how does one stop these thoughts? I'm not in the same situatiom as OP, but I've found I can't help having oneitis thoughts sometimes. Or do you just let them occur, pass through and move on?
[–]rangerdanger0707 8 years ago [recovered] (2 children) | Copy Link
Yeah! I totally get oneitis every once in awhile even though I've been on many dates with many girls and think that I'm experienced. You start to think that you're in control of your emotions, and then some girl unlike any you've met before appears out of nowhere and has you on your knees again hahaha. Normally when I crush on a girl (but don't get oneitis over), and things don't work out, it's really easy to just delve into my hobbies to forget about her. When I get oneitis over a girl, and things don't work out, I honestly depend on rebound with a new girl. Even all my hobbies can hardly distract me from thinking about a girl I've got the oneitis over, and that really fucking sucks, because I love all my hobbies. Fuck losing control over your emotions, am I right?
[–]Gilthane 1 point2 points3 points 8 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
'Fuck losing control over your emotions'. Seriously haha. I used to think I can totally control my emotion and feelings for a girl, but the conrol went down the drain the more we went out haha. Anyways, yes I guess focusing on hobbies will help. I'm finding right now also focusing on parts you know you need to improve (ie fitness level, other relationships etc) also helps to take the mind off.
[–]rangerdanger07071 point 8 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link
My amigo, we're on the same wavelength.
[–]Zoidberg22 1 point2 points3 points 8 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Is asking her to hangout enough in this case?
[–]rangerdanger0707 8 years ago [recovered] (1 child) | Copy Link
I'd say that's beating around the bush. You shouldn't be wishy washy, otherwise she'll start getting wishy washy. Your motives need to be clear!
[–]Zoidberg22 0 points1 point2 points 8 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
It's that bad? I mean inviting them out one on one isn't enough to show interest?
[–]crshaggy1 point 8 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link
I have been in a few relationships. I see what you’re saying. The problem here is that we don’t talk to each other as often so I don’t know how to ask her out without making it awkward. I feel that I should’ve made a move when we were working together and it’s too late now.
[–]ACaulfield910 0 points1 point2 points 8 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
points at title STOP right there. There's no one. There has never been the one. It's a joke, a fairy tale, a Cinderella story. It does not exist.
We view others as the one because of the things we share in common. Common actions, common quirks, common preferences, common dislikings, etc... But take a step back, and I really mean a big step back, and observe again. We're all the one. Human nature is a template. Everyone has their own traits, and once you get to know them on a personal level, you'll realize how unique they are. And that is exactly what makes you think a girl is the one. You've stepped into the pool, unlocked her personality beyond a generic level, and found out about her. But that doesn't mean that no one out there shares similar traits. The truth is, half the girls you meet might. You just haven't known them on a personal level yet.
What I'm trying to say is, as unique as everyone is, everyone is the same. There's no one, there's no fate. Emotional compatibility is great, but isn't exclusive to one person. You just have to open your eyes and stop being tunnel vision, and you'll realize how much she's not unique.
What you have is simple a crush.
[–]crshaggy 8 years ago [recovered] (1 child) | Copy Link
Is this an indirect way of saying I should be on Tinder more often ?
[–]ACaulfield910 0 points1 point2 points 8 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Take it however you like
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[–]rangerdanger0707 [recovered] (9 children) | Copy Link
[–]Gilthane 1 point2 points3 points (3 children) | Copy Link
[–]rangerdanger0707 [recovered] (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]Gilthane 1 point2 points3 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]rangerdanger07071 point [recovered] | Copy Link
[–]Zoidberg22 1 point2 points3 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]rangerdanger0707 [recovered] (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]Zoidberg22 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]crshaggy1 point [recovered] | Copy Link
[–]ACaulfield910 0 points1 point2 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]crshaggy [recovered] (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]ACaulfield910 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link