The hardest part of being rejected is that we realize that perhaps not everything about us is that OK. Especially when the rejection comes from someone that we kind of took for granted.

Rejection is common on everyday life. Indeed, very few people around is willing to please us or to be agreeable with us. But everytime it happens, it's as harsh as the first time.

It might be nothing personal. But we make it personal. But how it wouldn't be personal? The focus is on you, remember. How wouldn't be personal if someone else is rejecting you just because of you.

She's not rejecting you because of you. She's probably doing so because of her. Yeah, I was in a dependable state. Surely my grandparents died, but the real tragedy was that I was alone when they did. No one to cry to. But that was on me. Not on her, and of course not on my grandparents or anyone else.

From her point of view, and being rational while looking at this, she made the right decision for her. I still think very low of her as a human being, and I consider her a soulless bitch. But the wound is still fresh. It's hard to think well.

But in any case, what about me? Me alone? Surely she liked me one way or another. But if someone were to ask me, what about your life? There's not that much to it really. If I were to answer honestly, I'd say that I'm keeping myself alive. Because that's pretty much what I do.

Seduction. I've been a bit lucky with the ladies. That's it. Replace myself with any other at those very moments. I happened to be there and then and that's it.

Now, I need to find something to do. I have no hobbies. I know a lot of useless things. I have no passion.

Then I tend to read. We all do. Right? Then there are philosophies. Those tell you that you gotta have a purpose for your life. Otherwise, we may mislive our lives. I don't know what my purpose is. I've been trying to find that out to no avail. I think it may take a lifetime to figure it out.

And then I am also told that men build things. And then I don't know what to build.

So let's keep constructing things. Projects. At least I know that it feels good when you complete something and see it finished and well done. Let's keep looking for new things to do. Yeah we have to look for our purpose, but we can do stuff while we're at it.

Why not to build myself?