Hey guys,

I'm having some trouble figuring out social circle game. I've gotten good practice with night game (bars, clubs, frat parties, etc), where it's expected that you're hitting on girls and they look for it and it doesn't seem weird if you hit on girls somewhat overtly.

However, in social circle game I kind of fall flat. I'll give you an example. A good friend of mine had a friend from home visiting last week. This girl is smoking hot and I wanted to try to get with her. The first time we met, however, was just hanging out with a bunch of people, and later we were drinking and planning to go out, but it was still with a bunch of friends (about 6 of us total, 5 of us good friends 3 guys 2 girls and then the 6th being my friend's friend from home).

I didn't think it would be that different, since we were drinking and planning on going out so it should be similar, but psychologically I was in a totally different state. First, we were hanging out for a while before starting to drink, and it wasn't like we were really doing anything (really just chilling), so while we were talking a lot it wasn't really flirty talking (maybe this is the issue - I should always be flirting?) Second, it didn't seem appropriate to really hit on this girl in front of everyone (NOTE: Not because I didn't think it was an appropriate social thing, but because I thought it WOULDNT WORK because of the situation, i.e the girl would find it off putting).

So my question is: how do you build attraction without really "flirting"? Or am I just thinking about this all wrong? For example we had a decent conversation about her career plans, etc, but there was no real kino escalation (just light touching) -- and in terms of conversation content, it didn't really seem like it was building attraction.

I guess a bigger question, then, is outside of bar/club/frat party "gimmicks" (like showing confidence by moving them around the venue, dancing, getting a drink, I do something often where the girl and I "critique" the attempts of other guys to get with other girls, etc), when you're just having a normal conversation with a girl totally sober, how do you build attraction? It seems as though carrying on a good conversation (using threading, etc) paints you more as "nice guy" who you can talk to, but not the guy you want to hook up with. So how do you become more than the "great nice guy" in a normal sober conversation?