Let's have a discussion about compliments! My thoughts:

There's always a lot of discussion about teases or "negs" and most of the literature I've seen basically tells you to avoid compliments, but I think they can be done right.

The main reason compliments are generally advised against is that an AFC just compliments a girl to get her to like him, hoping to get something out of her. So, doing this, you've simultaneously:

  1. lowered your value by begging her to like you and

  2. tripped her "get this guy away from me" shield.

The solution is to compliment not for your sake but for hers. Make the intent of the compliment to brighten her day, rather than making it a means to get something out of her. This also means letting go your outcome. You can't be being nice to her for a purpose. Think of the way a car salesman will tell you you have a nice watch. You just don't believe the sincerity.

If there's a girl you know you'll see again because she goes to your school or works or lives near you, a no-pressure sincere compliment said once can do wonders for you a month later.

Another point I'll make is the type of compliments. I'd say stay away from:

1) Generic or bland statements (e.g. "you're pretty/hot/cute")

2) Overtly sexual compliments. E.g. It's pretty hard to tell a girl she has a nice ass in a way that doesn't put her on alert. Some guys can deliver it in a dispassionate way, but this is definitely not the easiest thing for most of us.

Gravitate towards:

1) Statements about her general sense of style/aura/presence, much more personal than "you're hot", and a much more appreciated compliment.

2) Specifics that other guys will easily miss (e.g. bracelets, necklaces, anklets, even color of her nails)

3) Any article of clothing that shows a bit of quirkiness or playfulness. Things like this are how she expresses her personality and creativity. That's a much better thing to be complimented on than her body.

Other thoughts?