How do you get laid? You act confident. That’s literally 95% of the battle of getting to the point of actually having sex with a woman’s .

Here’s the problem: having sex doesn’t heal all of the problems of your life.

Even if you’re regularly having sex you are not a finished product. You can be confident and understand this,

I am doing well socially but that does not mean I’m perfect

But the annoying, douchey kind of confidence is the “confidence” most people have.

chicks love me so I must be the shit

This is a huge mistake. I have a friend who has sex with women constantly and guess what? He’s got huge fucking blind spots in his life that he doesn’t work on because he already thinks he’s the shit.

Maybe for some people the sex is the end goal but I think that’s a mistake and here’s why.

When you level up in this life you gain friendship with people that are healthier and better to be around.

But to get to this level you have to let something go. You gotta let go of this idea that you’re perfect and acknowledge that you still got some flaws. This means sometimes feeling emotions like regret or shame, the exact opposite of confidence.

You lose some sense of status when you admit that you have things to work on.

But that’s okay. What you are learning is that you get to learn and level up from your failings. You’re learning real confidence, the confidence to be unconfident in the moment with the knowledge that it will lead to even greater fulfillment.

If this concept is tough to appreciate think about this: what’s stopping you from allowing yourself to feel some shame or guilt. Not an unhealthy wave of endless shame, but just enough to spur that positive change?

My guess would be that it would boil down to a lack of trust in yourself.

if I admit defeat even in this small moment then it proves I’m not perfect. If I’m not perfect I make mistakes. If I make mistakes I might feel pain. I don’t know if I can handle pain

In my opinion the deepest level of confidence you can have is the confidence to trust that your self image can wain appropriately in a given moment without losing it forever. That sense of satisfaction you get from self confidence is powerful, but trust that it’s powerful enough to come back on its own without you needing to force it to be there.