Holding the frame is all about confidence and being edgy at times. I have an example that happened today. First day of classes, no big deal. I’m sitting in my new english room when all of a sudden this gay kid I know walks in. Again, no big deal. This kid has what you would call an attitude, I can sense it in his voice. He’s the bully type, the kind that scare people off. I used to get picked on a bit and was always real nice, until recently when I started learning ab all this social dynamic stuff. Anyway, at one point in the class the teacher asks if anyone is a vegetarian or vegan for icebreakers. This kid then turns to me and asks me if I like meat, in a way that conveyed his gayness (not being a dick here) and his strong personality. Before, I would’ve probably went along with his “confidence test” and made myself look like a fool. Instead, I look at him and say “yea but not the gay kind”. Lot’s of people heard, some girls in the back laughed, the teacher looked horrified but didn’t say anything.

Point is: Never let people humiliate you or try to. You always have a good comeback, drop your filter and allow it to come out. No matter how offensive it may sound, this will make you edgy, more confident, and keep you from being a pushover (Best comeback has the strongest frame, strongest frame has the higher status).

Not letting others humiliate me has been added to my list of values.✔️