Today I bring an end to it all! The problem: seeking validation from others. I will tell you exactly why you seek validation from people and try to fix the problem.

-What is seeking validation? "Its like saying to people "Tell me who I am" and "Tell me how valuable I am". "Tell me AM I TRUE"." - A post I saw on the web that inspired me to write this guide. -Seeking validation basically means that you seek proof about something you're uncertain of from outer sources. Since you're uncertain about that something it literally means you're unconfident. It might be about your qualities, your successes, or even your behaviors.

-How do we seek validation? We can seek validation in two ways: *One can seek validation from others. This is the bad way and what you're doing at the moment. We build fake and unstable confidence, which in turn makes you an unstable person. This is because you're going to have to validate yourself to everyone you meet, and as we all know, we can't be liked by everyone. The result is - you're unstable as a behavior. *-One can seek validation from one's self. Validating to yourself is much like validating to others, but there is a big difference. You are just one human being, not hundreds of thousands. All you have to do is validate to yourself, which in turn will make your confidence strong, real and stable.

-Why do we seek validation. There may be many reasons you seek validation from others. It might be because you want to believe you're something you aren't. Because you don't want to believe you suck at something, so you seek external validation. Or it might be you lack the gut to prove something to yourself, so you take the easy route of validation.

I suck at social skills, so I want everyone to like me I'm really unattractive, so I want to get a lot of compliments Instead of getting into a fight and kicking some ass, I try to get liked by other guys who abuse me cause it's safe

-So how do I fix it? Now here comes the hard part. The only way to really stop seeking validation is to prove to yourself instead of others. This will be long, hard and painful, but in the end of the day you will be confident. A real, genuine, quality confidence will resonate around you. Here is how: Take a look at where you want to get validated when you talk to people. If you want to look good, hit the gym. Diet. It will be slow, but rewarding and you'll never doubt yourself again. Girls, hit the gym too and lift some weight. No, you won't get bulky. Rather you'll get ugly and skinny-fat if you don't lift. If you're scared of other guys dominating you, go learn martial arts/boxing/whatever and become good there until you're really sure you can kick ass. If you suck at making friends, find something you're interested in. They'll come eventually. If you're afraid to speak up, continue developing yourself. One day you won't give a shit about what people say and you won't even want to validate yourself.

It is done. This is how you validate yourself to your own self. You PROVE and therefore stop asking others for proof. Easier said than done, but when you finish there is a bonus - you know you're strong ;).