To start, I’m not that attractive I haven’t slept with a bunch of women and I’ve spent all of my teen and most of my 20s not having a clue about women but I figured somethings out and now I’m reasonably confident that I can attract women. I would say I’m average at seduction. I’m not an expert with a lay count in the hundreds (nor do I want to be) but I’m far from a complete beginner. I’d like to document my dating journal from this point to hopefully a happy relationship. I spent the majority of this year in a relationship that made me feel terrible and I’ve been out of for almost eight months and I’m starting to get excited about dating again. But before I jump back into dating I want to do these three things first.

*Work through any baggage. *

I for the most part have processed any baggage I have from my previous breakups. This process is challenging. Breakups can be literally the worst pain you can feel. The pain can have you blaming yourself doubting yourself and beating you down. But with the support of friends, family and a significant amount of time I see light at the end of the tunnel. I am bitter from time to time and being single is still very new to me but I’m happier now than I’ve been in a long time.

*Invest in myself again. *

To me, investing in myself mean to put effort into my own personal mental and emotional development. I do this by spending time with friends, working out, reading, meditating, spending more time in the office, chatting up new people etc. I don’t do all of these things at the same time (that’d be a lot of work) but I do make sure to consistently invest in myself. I reap the benefits of this investment by being a stronger, more self aware and more interesting person. Which is more attractive? A normal guy who likes to play video games or a well read guy who takes dance classes, loves his job, is self aware and like to play video games...

*Know what I want. *

This one is sorta tricky especially for me because in the past I’ve known what I’ve wanted but I find myself consumed by women who don’t have the traits I’m looking for. I either wasn’t patient enough or I was just plain desperate. In each of these situations the outcome was never worth the effort. So this time around (hopefully) I’ll focus on the traits that I value in the people around me for my next person. For me they are fun, smart and affection. I’m not dating anyone who don’t have those

*Be optimistic *

Dating can be tricky. There’s flakes, ghosts and people who’s insecurities can end confusing and hurting you. This is well documented (particularly in this subreddit). But I’m deciding to be optimistic because human connection is one of the greatest things this world has to offer. And each time my ego’s been bruised or my heart’s been broken I’ve come out of the other side more grounded, more confident and more prepared. Also optimism is an attractive trait.

Edit: fixed a typo