I live in a small to midsize city of 300,000 in the midwest and at my age (35) there are not a ton of single, good looking women around. I am recently divorced and have 2 kids 5-6 days out of the week so its also difficult to get to the clubs or places where you typically find good looking women. Because all this, I’ve only made a few approaches over the past year.

The other week I was about 45 minutes out of town in a smaller town that is a “lake town”. I stopped at a small boutique to pass some time and it was empty but the worker was a younger (early to mid 20s) girl who was good enough looking. We were chatting for about 15-20 minutes, nothing too flirty but just kinda of getting to know each other, with me leading the convo. I decided to get my sister a sweater and after she rang me up I told her I had to do an assessment at a School nearby but was wondering if she wanted to grab a coffee afterwards (I may have sad coffee or drink?).

She blushed and was silent for a sec and said she couldn’t because she had a boyfriend. I just said “ahh that cool” and turned around to start walking out. She blurted out “WAIT, whooo are youu?”, I turned around and just said my first name and she goes “my boyfriend and I are kind of on the rocks”.. so I went “ok, I’ll come back in 3 months” with a smirk on my face. As I began to turn around to leave again, she goes “WAIT” again and then “but whoooo are you?”

I laughed and told her my full name and she said well lets connect on IG. She told me her name but I had bad service so I just said I’d find her later.

Later that night we exchanged follows and then started a convo…

ME: Hey (her name), it was nice to meet you today 🙂

HER: Hey (me), it was nice meeting you too! 😊 Did your sister like the gift?

ME: Finally got it to her last night.. she liked it. Might have to hire you as my official gift giving consultant.

HER: Yes please! 😁

ME: Perfect. You’ll want to make sure to read the fine print of our job contract, I’ll probably slide “must be willing to travel to warm exotic locations at least 5x a year” in there. (Note: We talked a lot about traveling when we met)

HER: Kinda sounds like hard work… but I think I could handle it 😏

ME: Haha I figured so. Hit me up if/when you’re not tied down anymore 😋

I made sure to not message her back any quicker than half a day for each message. I am historically bad at text game at the beginning of meeting someone so I really wanted to keep it slow and not bland.

I decided to just leave the ball in her court at the end of it.

  1. I am not interested in actively trying to steal a chick from another guy. I did that once and ended up marrying a fucking covert narcissist. Bad juju.

    1. Figured keeping out convo short and not chasing her too much would only benefit as it would make me a bit more mysterious to her. This girl (once I saw her IG) has a legit 9.5/10 body and is very much one of those IG goddesses, so she is probably very used to dudes being obsessed.
    2. The night of our last message exchange, a random dude from her town who I have no other common friends with send me an IG request. I just left it there and a few days later he must have removed it cuz its no longer there. Either her BF noticed we followed each other and got curious or maybe she had a guy friend she mentioned me to?

Its been about a week since our last exchange, I muted all her stories and posts so that I can just forget about her at this point, and if she does message me at some point then cool I’ll escalate a bit but otherwise nothing lost.