Hi my name is Paddy,

I've just turned 28, up until now I've been going out for years with friends but never made an effort with girls to go out of my comfort zone. The only girls I'd pull would be ones that come to me, or by drunk dancing on the dancefloor, but now I'm ready to do it more often.

I would say I have looks and a personality that some girls like, but that doesn't get shown to new people (women) on nights out unless I'm properly drunk, which is always too late. All down to lack of confidence in myself.

(Side note to show my level of confidence these days: Last time I was out with friends and had just landed at a bar/club. I wasn't in the best if form because of work,etc. When two 8/10 girls tap my back and introduced themselves to me. I talked a bit but my first thought was what is the catch, are they trying to take the piss out of me, how are they going to laugh at me. So I put my guard up and didn't give them the opportunity. Well they sensed I wasn't playing ball and went off soon after, but it only hit me after that they could be genuine. I then proceeded to get more drunk that night to get over how stupid I'd been (while my other friend chased one of those girls) This I feel was a really bad experience and my confidence wouldn't usually be as low, but after that weekend plus other factors I'm at rock bottom now)

Basically I've been fed up for years about not having the balls to chat up girls while sober. Also it looks like my social circle are all settling down, and I feel I'll be on my own soon to mingle. So I'm going out tonight with friends and need help, can you give me some tips/goals for the night. A small bit of progress would make me push on and really help me mentally get over to the next hurdle.

I must appreciate any tips/goals from getting in the mindset before going out, how much should I drink and what should I aim to do when I'm out.

Thanks Paddy