Holy shit how much I hate myself right now. I can't just get over things. It feels impossible to fucking exist. It fucking sucks so hard to exist. Fuck everything, my feelings really unbearable right now. Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck.

It happens way too often. I try to be cocky and funny and or social with people or just even regular jokes, but then I say something that is stupid/cringeworthy and then I get tremendous anxiety about saying those things and I fucking swear to myself that I never will socialize with anyone again. I will just go and hide somewhere in a cave. This is the only thing that can bring the anxiety down. Otherwise my anxiety is like holy fuck. And I know that only I am responsible. I hope this rant helps me to calm down, this is basically the only reason I'm posting this. And well also the self pity, because I know that I can't ever be successful socially and therefore never get girls etc. because there is this single requirement that my brain is not able to fill. FUCK THIS.

Right now I just feel like my head and brain are so uncomfortable. fuCk

It's like I swear I will never ever try to talk to anyone again or try to be funny etc ........ because my brain is just unable to and then when I fail I get this anxiety.

Alright, peace, guys.