I was feeling pretty down today so I wrote down how I was feeling. Eerie how the words just came out and flowed so incredibly:

"Hi dickface, I know you're feeling shitty after getting rejected. That's just because you're a little bitch Andy. You're too much of a fucking coward to cold approach during the day at work even though there are TONS of girls walking around. Andy, your lonelieness is your own fault. If you want a girlfriend you're going to have to find some sustainable confidence somewhere and get used to getting rejected. Rejection is part of life. Until it rolls off your back and you can continue on without moping around for days feeling bad for yourself, you're going to be VERY lonely. You are less than a man. You are nothing. A real man would just be able to walk away and not let his feelings bring him down so much Andy. Instead you feel so badly about a girl you like rejecting you that you fucking cry about it. GET. OVER IT. If you had any testicles at all you'd be able to handle this. But you don't. You fucking loser. In fact, you should just get used to this happening all the time. Without the ability to build up your own confidence and love yourself, you'll always struggle. You'll always be alone. If you don't love yourself why should they love you at all? You've got nothing but heartbreak ahead of you. Always a friend, never a boyfriend, husband, father or anything of significance to a woman at all. They pity you. See you as weak. Inferior. They have high hopes for you on the surface that someone will decide to waste their time with you, but deep down they doubt your abilities as much as you do. You should probably just kill yourself."

I'm trying my best to observe these thoughts as illogical, but in this moment they're very real, morbid and self deprecating. I'm definitely lonely. But it's not always this bad.

Working on things guys. Cheers.