Hi Seddit. Brace yourselves, this is long.

TL;DR: Don't be lazy, just read it.

I've been a bit of a lurker on this subreddit for a few months now. I really like most of the community and the style of seduction and I recognise that most of you all understand it's about more than just picking up women at a bar or party or whatever. It's an entire lifestyle. It's a mindset. I completely agree with this line of thinking but I can't get myself to think in that mindset. To me it all seems like a lie when I think it.

Now is probably a good time to mention that I'm 18 and currently attend an all-boys high school. I'm a kiss-less virgin and I can completely understand why that has been the case. To be honest I've never had any real opportunities handed to me and even when faced with any hint of it I never take the plunge, not that it has really been anything big or even that it matters very much. All that proves is that I'm inexperienced and in a situation that I don't see will change until I'm in university next year. I know all of this sounds all little-league and everything but comparatively to most of the guys I know that are of the same age, more has happened for them than for me.

So onto why I post this. I've recently been thinking about why I can't put myself into that kind of mindset without thinking that it's all a lie and a ploy. I tried to think of an analogy for myself, about why I would never take the plunge in the first place; I thought of myself as a salesman, trying to sell a product to a potential buyer. I initially thought that I was willing to sell someone a product that I believed was complete crap as long as I could hide that fact, and this wasn't just for the analogy, that was just generally what I was thinking. However as soon as I thought that they MIGHT realise that the product was rubbish I lost complete faith in the product and myself in being able to sell it because they might realise that it's crap. That was literally what I just thought, and when you take it out of that analogy and into actually convincing a woman that I am worthwhile, I realise that the latter part of the analogy is what I keep thinking like, and it doesn't matter what I say to give myself confidence, as long as I'm also aware that there is any chance of a woman realising that I have major shortcomings that make me look like a shit option then I will never ever take the plunge. Then I realised another thing about having absolutely no guilt or qualms about selling that product if I knew that it had problems and I knew that they couldn't find out; firstly if there is no indication of a fault or shortcoming of the product in any way, then there is no fault. The second thing I realised about that line of thinking is that it doesn't apply to the actual situation, I'm not that cold-hearted to actually let a woman take a lie like that, at least not a woman that I'm interested in, this is probably related to my thoughts on the shallow classic PUA kind of thinking and picking up women.

Now, onto what those errors actually are: The short answer is that I have no clue, no piece of concrete and objective evidence to indicate to me that I have any major errors that make me unattractive to a woman or anything to suggest the opposite. The long answer is that I've had indications, and I attempt to be analytical and logical when I look at these examples. Some are positive, some negative, and either way I become over-analytical. I've had girls at events glare at me with such disgust when other guys have gotten me dances with their friends, in fact, one time a girls friends attempted to pull her away while we were dancing because of me. There have been other times where I've been on public transport and girls have clearly shown interest in me and I've blown it off because I thought they were just trying to be mean or something was up, turns out I was wrong and they really were trying. I've had random girls smile at me in public and wink and others check me out, I think so anyway, these events have happened more recently but I'm just not sure if they are joking with me or serious. The truth is I'm not sure if I'm ugly or not, I'm fit, but pale, I can't look at my face and tell. So I have reasoned with myself that the only way to know is just to try.

The other thing that worries me is that I'm a pretty boring person by most peoples standards. I play sports but don't follow them (not that it really matters), I'm interested in science based subjects, an expert with computers and I have an unending interest in pretty much every type of engineering and also finance/economics, I enjoy these things alongside watching TV and playing video games. I can't see these things as attractive or interesting points of conversation for the vast majority of women or people in general, they're hobbies and I am passionate about them, it pretty much defaults me into the category of nerd and I'm not sure whether or not I can easily get around these things when it comes to attracting women. I'm fairly egotistical and confident in these areas and pretty much anything that I believe that I can achieve beyond reasonable doubt.

Either way, the thing that worries me about attracting women the most is how interesting of a person that I am, I don’t want to be superficial and I don't want to appear boring when I do try.

/r/seduction, I really don't know what to do in my situation, I don't see any situations arising until uni where I have opportunities and I'm ok with that. With that said I really just need tips from other other guys who've been in a similar situation (In terms of having no experience and having typically "boring" interests/hobbies) or just general tips on how I can overcome that kind of anxiety. I've already read a tonne of stuff on the subject but it all feels a bit distant from me and while there are specific pieces of advice or example I just don't fit into those categories either because I'm too young, or just don't fit into categories entirely in my view.

Thanks for getting through all of that!