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[–]Kjohn1990 2 points3 points4 points 7 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Seems like a date and saying she wants to meet up again one last time before a move seems like she wants the d. Big W
[–]VulcanXIV 0 points1 point2 points 7 years ago* (27 children) | Copy Link
Look, you did great. She's obviously keeping it platonic but honestly that doesn't mean shit. She's open to you and that's what matters. Ignore the sweats. Keep up the things that force you up to her level (paying for yourself like you did). Ignore the "catching up with old students" thing. They're all said more for her ears to hear and not yours. She said to meet up again.
Raise her a bamboozle and invite her out for another casual lunch before the actual final hangout. I'm saying this in the assumption that you can take rejection in stride. If she can't then she can't, whatever. Assuming you can't butter her up before the actual final goodbye meet-up, then you'll just have to do smooth boi crunch time at the actual final date. Court her. Don't throw yourself at her.
Seduction is being smooth and then giving her a knife to cut your jugular with, all the while showing her your neck. That analogy means that once you succeeded in flirting, you will have to respectfully lay it out clear for her and respectfully (and hopefully confidently) take in her reaction for the amazingly important micro cues to gauge her response. Do not be afraid to push her seductively if she shows unsureness or unease (obviously back down if it's disgust. No, aghast is not the same, that's just surprise, you can still push that).
Do not flinch in your stride. Take it all in and push slowly. If she wants it deep down then she'll crumble to such a manly thing. If not then you'll apologize and tell her to forget about it. You always had a thing for her and you just wanted to let her know.
And please, don't use all that I said and think I mean asking her outright to fuck. I mean ASKING HER OUT in some romantic or in a "I desire your very soul" way. Sexual innuendo is between the lines. Not outright. It's hot and it's polite. If you just ask to hookup you will get cut down, Even if she was hoping for it.
[–]randomfire9 1 point2 points3 points 7 years ago (26 children) | Copy Link
I loved your writeup. I was wondering for the final hangout, since I don't own a place, if I should just invite her to "stay over" and then send her the address of a hotel. Also, I asked her for her number via email like 5 minutes after she sent me an email and she hasn't replied which I'm a bit worried about
[–]VulcanXIV 0 points1 point2 points 7 years ago* (25 children) | Copy Link
Intimate questions should stay intimate in person, so asking for her number like that might have been a bit much. Who knows maybe you'll get lucky if she's still treating it platonic, in which case good shit for taking advantage of that.
Remember, im not describing how to court her, thays kind of up to you. The last half of my essay was pretty much warning you to go fast but not hard lol. Dont freeze up when you meet though. Being smooth is about relaxing and letting the conversation flow.
[–]randomfire9 0 points1 point2 points 7 years ago (24 children) | Copy Link
Ah, I'm kind of nervous now. I'm afraid I may have ruined things. but backpedalling now will make me look like a coward.
[–]VulcanXIV 0 points1 point2 points 7 years ago (23 children) | Copy Link
Take it in stride fella. This is what it means to not flinch. Never flinch. Don't let the unease energy flow out for a second. Confidence boy Confidence. Take a look throughout this subreddit and you'll find plenty of examples of how not to fuck up a line during conversation. Forget about the number over email, you can ride that out. Like we said, whether shes platonic or not itngoes in your favor so chill
[–]randomfire9 0 points1 point2 points 7 years ago (22 children) | Copy Link
She didn't respond. I'm not sure how to proceed.
[–]VulcanXIV 0 points1 point2 points 7 years ago (21 children) | Copy Link
Its email, isnt that quite normal?
[–]randomfire9 0 points1 point2 points 7 years ago (20 children) | Copy Link
Maybe, but it's her teacher email, so she probably checks it daily.
[–]VulcanXIV 1 point2 points3 points 7 years ago (19 children) | Copy Link
True. It's important to not feel anything about this. You think about the reasons and you catalogue them. It'll be ammo to use at a later time, teasing or whatever it could be. Try to think about how you can make that meet up happen without pestering, even if it means waiting for her to approach you last minute or sending her a message the day before telling giving her good wishes on her trip or something.
Vibe. Class. Confidence. Your win some you lose some just never think about saying "fuck it" and actually nuking your relationship by asking her if she's frisky enough to fuck outright. It will never work. Ever.
[–]randomfire9 1 point2 points3 points 7 years ago (18 children) | Copy Link
That's a tough one. I want to wait a bit but not too long after what just occurred before I contact her again. Maybe I'll just talk about some random crap in a week or so and then try seeing if she wants to hang again at a later date.
[–]VulcanXIV2 points 7 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link
That's what I meant by making it happen. The things I say always relied on you to come up with the execution, in the end in just arguing boundaries. Boundaries that can be interpreted differently based on the situation. Keep it up.
Do that idea you mentioned. you're ignoring her unresponsiveness and pushing in a different way. Excellent. Just remember that there's always a breaking point for everything so it's up to you to sense that. No one can tell you when its time to call it off or make the final push, keep your wits
[–]randomfire91 point 7 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link
Essentially be cautious to her reaction in her new email after responding to my chatter, to see if I should even invite her somewhere. if I invite her out again she might avoid it as she doesn't want to feel like she's leading me on now that I've made my intent I want a personal friendship with her.
also as for asking her straight out to fuck , I live with my parents so I am going to have to say if we hang out again, "How about next time we hang out for a late night expenditure and crash at a hotel" (I might lie and say "a 2 bed hotel" to ease the nerves but really offer to sleep on the floor if she bails)
Ouch, so I sent her just a friendly hello four days ago and no response. I have some time off this week and was really hoping to meet up for that 2nd lunch . I'll just have to be patient and ride it out.
[–]VulcanXIV1 point 7 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link
Doesn't seem good. Two truths are left: You take it on the chin and hope fate brings you two together for your second chance to prove yourself after a montage of self work, or you take it on the chin and risk trying harder for a response ( for that you have to try a different way every time--a full blown old-fashioned courtship. Be original and genuine).
Neither are right but neither are wrong, just don't seem desperate. Never discount the possibility that she just isn't interested. use that to be ready for the signs and call it quits like a gentleman
she just replied, said she was very busy. I dont know how to proceed though, she took so long to message me back . I had asked her for her number and she didn't reply to that. She said "Have a great week" in her email which lead me to beleive she doesn't want to talk to me again this week
Hi --,
Very busy- it's just that time of year though!
That's fantastic- keep me posted on the interview process- I have friends who have relocated down to NC and love it. Good for you to take on some additional online courses, it's such a great way to strengthen and add depth to your resume.
Have a great week,
It feels like she's acting like my teacher and not a potential partner now. As if I shocked her out of things with that question. I don't know, I'm so confused.
You're not confused, you're just at a loss (in more ways than one). I'm not you and I'm certainly not some chad. You don't have the resources to continue and it's ok to accept that. She's drawn a line and there's nothing confusing about it.
It's not ok to hear it from me, either. That's just another thing you'll have to write down as a stretch goal. Good on you for trying man, that's for sure. If you find yourself genuinely in love with her then at this point you should listen to your heart and not me (or anyone. Unless it's about improving yourself in regards to a relationship). Sappy romances exist, even from a starting point of absolute zero.
You'll just have to be genuine about it to the very fiber of your being.
Stay smart and keep growing
So I should give up at this point? Or ask her to lunch again.
That's up to you. The reason that is, is because at this point you've entered Rambo territory. If one decides to give up, they should do it and stick to it. If they decide to persist despite the unresponsiveness, then it's completely up to them to do so with confidence but most importantly, tact. If you dont feel you can measure up to her wavelength, then chances are you'll fall short of getting her to fall in love. Life is cruel in how fickle love can be, amd its important to understand that you might be lacking in what she wants, or shes just the kind of person who wont ever say yes.
Make a decision and understand the consequences, particularly if you decide to pursue. Theres nothing more i can help you with man, at this point only you can win her baed on your own existence (that fact has no bearing on your chances for success).
Good hunting.
This was going to be my message to her:
Thank you for the best wishes ,
I would like to grab lunch again with you soon before our last meetup when I relocate. I have some time off in the next couple of weeks. Let me know if you'd be open to that, I understand completely if you're swamped with work as the school year finishes up.
Hope you have a great week as well !
rejected. she sent an immediate response. just gonna be sad to myself now, another failure.
Hi ,
These next few weeks are kind of crazy for me. Between birthdays, bridal showers, interviews, etc. it's pretty tight. Do you have a timeline set or an anticipated date range for your move?
Talk soon,
I just ended it.
"I don't,and I apologize for that.
Thank you though , and I really do mean that. You are too kind."
I just ended it"
I don't,and I apologize for that.
Thank you though --, and I really do mean that. You are too kind."
I cried a bit earlier.I almost sent her a kind of sappy letter refusing the gift card she gave me with a drawing of a flower and some tea packets, and I realized that if she doesn't want to meet up again soon or give me her number a letter isn't gonna shift her mindset.
The only way I know to get her to respond to me know is to push the gift card she got for me back at her and tell her that I can't accept it for personal reasons and see how she reacts. I bought her stuff on Amazon and she tried to even things out with me offering me lunch and giving me a gift card back.
I don't know what to say except "I wanted to know if you wanted to grab lunch again in the near future or if this time of year is too busy for you"
My mind is racing as I'm trying to find a way to deliberately get an answer out of her without pushing too hard.
I've dated a girl before that wouldn't give me her number until the 3rd date and wasn't in my bed until the 4th, so, idk
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[–]Kjohn1990 2 points3 points4 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]VulcanXIV 0 points1 point2 points (27 children) | Copy Link
[–]randomfire9 1 point2 points3 points (26 children) | Copy Link
[–]VulcanXIV 0 points1 point2 points (25 children) | Copy Link
[–]randomfire9 0 points1 point2 points (24 children) | Copy Link
[–]VulcanXIV 0 points1 point2 points (23 children) | Copy Link
[–]randomfire9 0 points1 point2 points (22 children) | Copy Link
[–]VulcanXIV 0 points1 point2 points (21 children) | Copy Link
[–]randomfire9 0 points1 point2 points (20 children) | Copy Link
[–]VulcanXIV 1 point2 points3 points (19 children) | Copy Link
[–]randomfire9 1 point2 points3 points (18 children) | Copy Link
[–]VulcanXIV2 points [recovered] | Copy Link
[–]randomfire91 point [recovered] | Copy Link
[–]randomfire91 point [recovered] | Copy Link
[–]randomfire91 point [recovered] | Copy Link
[–]VulcanXIV1 point [recovered] | Copy Link
[–]randomfire91 point [recovered] | Copy Link
[–]VulcanXIV1 point [recovered] | Copy Link
[–]randomfire91 point [recovered] | Copy Link
[–]VulcanXIV1 point [recovered] | Copy Link
[–]randomfire91 point [recovered] | Copy Link
[–]randomfire91 point [recovered] | Copy Link
[–]randomfire91 point [recovered] | Copy Link
[–]randomfire91 point [recovered] | Copy Link
[–]randomfire91 point [recovered] | Copy Link
[–]randomfire91 point [recovered] | Copy Link
[–]randomfire91 point [recovered] | Copy Link
[–]randomfire91 point [recovered] | Copy Link
[–]randomfire91 point [recovered] | Copy Link