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[–]GeeseCTM 4 points5 points6 points 6 years ago* (12 children) | Copy Link
I can't speak for this group, sometimes I'm confused by things that they delete, and other times I agree.
There's been a couple of posts of mine that got deleted or whatever for reasons that I thought were ridiculous, what am I going to do?
But other times I've seen the moderators remove posts from completely ridiculous sources of guys who are trying to act like to have a lot of experience, are talking complete nonsense, and if you go back and read their history what they're preaching is definitely not what they're practicing.
Posts like: Don't be a pussy! Grab your balls and just go talk to women! and then the guy goes on and on about being a tough guy and how other guys are pussies, and you just got to go meet women by grabbing your balls and talking to women, you don't need all that game bro!
And then you go and look at the guys history, and 3 days ago he's asking people how to get phone numbers, or how he can't seem to get dates.
So that makes sense.
But that a couple of days ago I posted a post when I was a little bit drunk, and everybody's at home, nobody's doing anything, and I figured I would do an impromptu AMA and have a fun discussion with people about dating, especially like hey man let's be men, yeah we can't meet in person, but let's have a few beers and shoot s*** about dating and talk shop, and I got a message from the moderator saying that he deleted that post, because I haven't been vented or something like that.
But then I've seen AMAs in this group from coaches who have been "vented" who are absolutely terrible and who's messes I've already had to clean up after multiple times. (RSD coaches, Ex-Coaches, Others who scammed guys out of money then those guys come to be and start actually getting laid/women in their lives).
So at that point, I guess I don't understand the qualifications a coach has to have to be vented in this group.
And then, I guess, because there's so many scam artists coaches out there, that even mentioning you're a coach is frowned upon as if I'm trying to sell something, not that, hey just like any industry on Earth, maybe the experts are the people that you could learn from, kind of like if I was going to be a surgeon, I would probably go to surgical experts on how to learn how to be a surgeon and wouldn't frown on people who were fantastic surgical instructors.
I will tell you what a lot of it boils down to, and not just moderators but in general, in this industry there are a lot of people who are envious and jealous and angry that other people are having success.
This can work in two ways, and the first way, is that if someone is doing better than them, or they think that someone is doing better than them, then they are likely to Target that individual and try and bring them down a notch or two. Tall Poppy Syndrome.
In other cases, they overcompensate for their own lack of ability by trying to pick on people that they deem less successful than they are. Then they can float their ego and think to themselves, "at least I'm not in the same boat as that loser." When really they are.
However, let's be real. These groups are also filled with guys posting the same things over and over again, and a lot of times they're just general and not helpful.
"There's this one girl I like..."
"What do I text this girl..."
"Just be yourself! Mark Manson says you don't need game. Just grab your balls and go talk to women."
Like posts that are absolutely useless, and are completely off the mark of what a guy is going to need to succeed.
The standards fell apart after masf was eliminated.
Example I JUST saw..
https://www.reddit.com/r/askseddit/comments/fos6ax/how_do_i_win_her_over_with_all_this_competition/?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share
The short answer is, stop worrying about the one girl, that one special girl, and go out and learn a skill set so that you can attract more girls.
It's not about going after that one special girl, (oneitis) it's about learning a skill set, becoming charismatic, and gaining the ability to attract an abundance of women overall.
[–]Yamatoman9 1 point2 points3 points 6 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
I think the reason we see so many posts on this sub about "that one girl" is because that is what brings a lot of new users to this sub in the first place.
They like some girl and end up on Seddit looking for advice. My hope is that once they find their way here, they begin to absorb the information and realize it is about cultivating a skillset and lifestyle and not about one particular girl.
[–]Altvr -1 points0 points1 point 6 years ago (9 children) | Copy Link
A lot of facts in this one post. However, I will say I disagree with the just grab your balls part because to even get success you literally have to put your balls on the chopping block so that’s not entirely untrue. Sure theory and game is important but that will only get you so far. Experience will solve a lot of guys’ problems, including myself but if you’re socially awkward, you’re going to have a more difficult time approaching women, thus all the questions being asked on theory. If we were allowed to share our SPECIFIC experiences, this might help guys realize what they need to improve on to acquire the women of their dreams but because this isn’t allowed, many guys’ problems in dating persist. Questions like, “How To Avoid Freezing Up When Having a Conversation With a Beautiful Woman” shouldn’t being deleted because this might be the determining factor for if a man can attract a high quality woman or not. Unfortunately, this is not the case.
[–]GeeseCTM 1 point2 points3 points 6 years ago (8 children) | Copy Link
You misunderstood my original point. I'm not knocking a guy trying to grab his balls, I'm saying that when a guy posts a blanket post like that, acting like that's the end-all-be-all of game, that's where the problem is. Because it's not, not even close. Yes getting out approaching is the first step, it's the very first step so it's natural that it needs to happen, but acting like that is the cure-all fix-all, like so many of the posts I see, completely off base. It's literally the beginning like stepping on a bicycle and sitting on the seat before even beginning to pedal.
[–]Altvr -1 points0 points1 point 6 years ago (7 children) | Copy Link
I didn’t misunderstand your post, I actually think grabbing your balls or getting out of your head is the answer. Our ancestors didn’t read about game and theory. Why? Because they couldn’t. It was all instinct. The more you fail, the more opportunities you have to learn from your mistakes so it’s only natural to achieve success eventually. Sure, theory and game can aid a man in achieving success, in most cases, a lot quicker than figuring dating and getting laid out as they go BUT you don’t necessarily need theory or game to accomplish this. So while theory can helpful, you don’t necessarily need it to be successful.
[–]GeeseCTM 1 point2 points3 points 6 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
You're playing the numbers game called, getting lucky.
I don't know how many dozens of guys I've seen who play that and are absolute disasters with women.
Even after 10 years 15 years I've known guys who have been playing the Just approach and grab your balls game and they're absolutely terrible and even creepy about women, and then they pick up a bunch of weird toxic behaviors to boot because of how much lack of success they have. Meanwhile, I can take a guy and start coaching him and he'll be getting women without even doing Mass approaches.
It's absolutely terrible advice to give a guy. Absolutely horrendous.
If you're telling them, yes the first step in approaching and learning seduction is to just go out and start talking to women, yes, just like somebody would say, if you want to be a good swimmer you have to jump into the swimming pool.
But if you're telling me that you're going to take some Olympic swimmer, who has had coaches his whole life tweaking and instructing, and dialing in that guy's ability to swim, and then you're going to take Joe schmo and the lane next to him, who just has been a casual swimmer his whole life and yes, maybe even he swims almost everyday, who do you think is going to win? For sure the Olympic swimmer is going to blow him out of the water.
MMA fighters, football players, baseball players, even people in business, who go out and get coaches who help them learn to become better, or read periodicals, spend a lot of time reading the Wall Street Journal, studying the markets, the trends, and so on.
Everything, everything in life, if someone learns how to do it and adopt and acquires a skill-set, that person is going to become far more successful than someone else that just goes out and does it over and over again, without actually trying to apply any skills, learning, theory, fundamentals, and ways that other people have used to get better.
But for some reason, guys think that learning to become good at dating, or seduction, is exempt from what every other field is not exempt from. Pure nonsense.
[–]Altvr 0 points1 point2 points 6 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Then you’ve just proved my point with your post. The Olympic swimmer has to eventually APPLY the information learned from the coaches but it’s STILL possible to be a great swimmer without the need for coaches and personal trainers. That’s all I’m saying. Dating isn’t about being better than everyone else. Dating is about doing what works for you and finding a partner/partners who fit YOUR criteria of what YOU want out of YOUR relationships with women. If someone is dating to be better than other men out there and want to have fulfilling relationships with women across all social spectrums, I personally believe that they’re interacting with women for the wrong reason. This is because THEY WILL NEVER BE FULFILLED.
So while coaches and personal trainers, self-development books and more can help, it’s not a necessity to become great with women. What is necessary is putting in the work approaching and gaming. Think of it like working out. You can take supplements all you want but you won’t see results until you factor in dieting and exercising. The supplements in this case are self help in relation to dating. The workout is actually going infield and putting in the work. Essentially, we’re saying the same things just in different ways.
[–]GeeseCTM 0 points1 point2 points 6 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Now you're putting words in my mouth and saying that I proved your point. Weak.
Good luck.
[–]Altvr 0 points1 point2 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
It was a wonderful conversation. Thank you for taking the time to comment on my post and good luck to you as well!
[–]interchanger9 0 points1 point2 points 6 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
I promise you it is all a big numbers game anyway. I've been out with many coaches and pro PUA's etc. (various inner circles)
They get rejected just as much as the next dude in terms of percentages, although they get laid more. It's all a Numbers game no mater what anyone tells you.
Some use hypnosis, some mysterymethod, some NLP, some RSD style. It doesn't matter. If she isn't attracted to him, he strikes out. If she is, he tends to have a decent shot
Plus, 'seduction coaches' tend to be the same as 'stock trading coaches'. Just idiots in a completely unregulated industry (where anyone can start up shop and charge people money) making a quick buck off of the naïve
game isn't black magic lol. Some old fat guy isn't gonna be banging many hot 18 year old beauties without paying for it
Good analogy 😂😂😂 But yeah I agree with you. An old guy who’s fit and takes care of himself physically will be able to attract an Aphrodite lookalike, 18 year old hottie with a body. But the keyword was fat so I definitely know what you mean. Older people typically have more experience in the dating game so they may have more of a shot than us younger folks, that I can tell you. The old guy understands that life is short and it’s better to risk it all than to not take a risk at all. I believe us younger guys suffer from Immortalism, a term I made up basically meaning that we believe we will live forever or have a long time to live but death is always just around the corner.
I can tell you that the one and only thing I need to work on is approaching with honest intent. If I’m honest when I approach and respectful of the woman’s boundaries, more women will be attracted to me then not. This is because dating isn’t just about looks (though they certainly help as in the case above). It’s also about charisma and courage.
[–]GeeseCTM 0 points1 point2 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Tl;dr: it's all a numbers game, the guys who study get laid more.
Yea that's the point.
And I'm my maybe experience the guys who don't study are creepy disasters.
[–]quinnmcd[M] [score hidden] 6 years ago stickied comment (0 children) | Copy Link
We are still updating the sidebar so I can see why you can be confused. r/seduction is really meant for intermediate to advanced questions. When questions are too board most of the time the questions have already been asked or there's no context/details. Many questions that are removed usually are beginner questions. I usually link beginner questions to Beginner Material I believe this answers roughly 85% of the most frequently asked questions. We encourage users to search their questions before asking.
If we can’t post in relation to our current life situations, how are we supposed to receive answers to questions unique to us?
This is what r/askseddit is for. Beginner questions and questions about specific situations go there.
If you feel like any of your posts are removed, but didn't deserve it please message the mod team and we'll clear up the reason why. If you are still confused please check out Posting Guidelines
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[–]GeeseCTM 4 points5 points6 points (12 children) | Copy Link
[–]Yamatoman9 1 point2 points3 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]Altvr -1 points0 points1 point (9 children) | Copy Link
[–]GeeseCTM 1 point2 points3 points (8 children) | Copy Link
[–]Altvr -1 points0 points1 point (7 children) | Copy Link
[–]GeeseCTM 1 point2 points3 points (3 children) | Copy Link
[–]Altvr 0 points1 point2 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]GeeseCTM 0 points1 point2 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]Altvr 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]interchanger9 0 points1 point2 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]Altvr 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]GeeseCTM 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]quinnmcd[M] [score hidden] stickied comment (0 children) | Copy Link