I've been getting back in the game, and thinking a lot about seduction and communication in general and I've come upon some realisations that I think might be useful to fellow seduces here.

  1. Be there, she wants your presence. Doing this has allowed me to minimize my anxiety and recognize opportunities, as well as see rejections for what they really are, as opposed to everything in the interaction being your fault.
  2. Your beliefs define your success and to a greater extent your approach. There's a place for game in seduction (the techniques), but your beliefs about yourself and your genuine (hopefully informed) opinions about the world will carry the conversation. By beliefs I mean your opinion of yourself, your opinion about the world and of girls and their behavior. These things shine through, and are what allow me personally to converse with people and make them laugh
  3. The "method" doesn't matter. What I mean by this is, there needs to be some ground truths that are established. For example, if you're attracted to her, then that's what it is. From that point onward, you're expressing your attraction towards her in which ever means you choose. The phrase "the words don't matter" is what differentiates advanced guys from beginners in my opinion. That said, if you don't know what to do in a certain social situation, then it's generally okay to seek for some advice, but the work is really the same when it comes down to it.
  4. Embrace your mistakes. Don't stay there of course, but embrace them. If you do this long enough, there will come a point where things that used to bother you just don't anymore. This alone is reason for me to
  5. You can't be a casanova in a place with no women.
  6. Recognize the difference between the venues you're in/going to. This is important, because ideally, you want to come across as socially competent and not embarrass yourself, your peers or the girl you're with. Simply put, street stops are different from clubs, which are different from grocery stores and so on. The amount of physical escalation "allowed" is different, which is important, because if a girl feels judged, your "attempts" will be interpreted differently. This is important because in order to fine-tune your approach or come across as "smooth", you have to be aware of the "social rules" that you're dealing with and how they might affect her.
  7. Focus on YOU. It's funny that everyone's favourite topic is themselves, but we often don't really care about our own opinions of ourselves. I find it ridiculous that some guys will run and buy a book or a course, but totally forget to take care of some things like basic hygiene or how they're feeling at a particular point in time. Also, clearly define what you want from a particular woman. Is it casual sex? A relationship? Are you willing to walk away? Is she THAT important to you? If so, why. That way, you'll learn more about your own sexuality, your likes and dislikes, which in turn will help you be more grounded and feel less shame and anxiety about your decisions. These things are important, and they might be what's holding you back in the long run. Simply put, its much more difficult to seduce someone if you're feeling down about yourself. To this end, take care of yourself, treat yourself well and achieve something every once in a while, consistently. Also, take time and deal with your childhood traumas if you find patterns in your behavior that are negative.