There's got to be a shortcut. There's got to be a secret. There's got to be some crazy as fuck jedi-mind-trick that some obscure phD or Tim Ferriss or Tony Robbins came up with.

Confidence is the perfect antidote to anything. It's for real a superpower. When you feel it, you're the you you were always supposed to be - happy, in control, powerful, and immune to the judgements of others.

It's like the pill Bradley Cooper takes in Limitless. When the drug enters his system, literally nothing can stop him. External factors like fear, lack of resources, the stupidity or arrogance of people, or the weather, don't matter. He's his full self, his full potential.

Obviously something so amazing and so powerful isn't easy to get on a consistent basis. It can't be. That's written in the laws of life somewhere. But I still want it as often as possible. I know you do too. Where do we start?

Think about what confidence really is - it's an unapologetic belief in yourself. It’s a state where other's opinions don't affect you. It's a state where no matter what happens, you know you’ll be safe, assured, calm, competent, and still feeling good. Doubt might enter but it quickly fades because it’s wrong.

Is it clear that confidence always starts with you? I build it by reminding myself what's great about me EVERYDAY. I write 5 things everyday. I keep saying everyday because it’s important. I don’t take a day off.

Maybe somedays you're like me and you hate yourself and can't find a thing to write down. But search for something, dig deep, there's at least one thing you can find - like the fact that you make killer egg sandwiches, got up early enough to run and do push ups, or maybe you love Star Wars and Star Wars is fucking awesome so you are too.

Next, we stack some gratefulness on top of the self-love. We all have this habit of seeing only the shitty things going on in our lives. It's human nature to focus on the painful things and ignore the positive. We are pain-avoidant creatures. But it's a vicious cycle if you let it happen - you're taking out a shovel and digging a hole deep enough to bury yourself. Doubt, fear, insecurity, and pity are helping you dig.

You can train yourself to break that cycle.

You have so much yet you don't see it. I'm grateful for the cup of coffee I have in my hand. I'm grateful for the rain outside that gives me an excuse to be a nerd and write. I'm grateful for not drinking too much last night. I'm grateful for my friends who speak Chinese and help me get dinner.

I write down 5 things I'm grateful for every morning. I do it after the 5 things that make me awesome.

Then you go out and do the things in the workout. This is 'situational confidence' that comes with mastering and repetition. You build yourself into the person you want to be - a really attractive man who you can be proud of - by pushing your limits and working and sacrificing and experimenting and doing things differently than you have before because that never got you what you wanted.

It won't happen overnight. You stick with it even though you just embarrassed the shit out of yourself or because you think you suck and will never get better.

You commit to doing a few small things each day - getting healthier by going to the gym, investing in yourself by buying new clothes or a book, or taking a risk and moving to a new city that fits you.

I do a small exercise each day. I write down what I did in my journal every night.

And in a couple of months it will sneak up on you. It will come out of nowhere. You’ll surprise yourself. And you’ll message me telling me how confident you felt today. I can't wait to get it.

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