Lots of ppl have expectations about how how dating roles ought to be, and how relationships should be, but the problem is those are not universal, and if u have expectations that depend on the other person knowing u have those expectations, that will usually make u resentful and unhappy cuz ppl are who they are, not who u think they should be.

Cuz u see expectations are like a movie script u’ve written in ur head about how a situation should unfold, but the problem is that other people have no real obligation to follow ur script and they might have a completely different script altogether.

lLike even if the vast majority of the planet agreed that your script of expectations is reasonable, commun sense, and fair... the reality is that nobody is obligated to follow it.

u also shouldnt assume they will behave according to ur expectations, just cuz most people would. Because what a majority of ppl would do doesnt mean every indivdual will feel obligated to do the same as the majority.

Heck, even if the girl or guy u like agrees with u that ur expectations are reasonable and fair and they understand where ur coming from, that doesn’t mean they have any obligation to actually meet them, even after admitting they’re fair and reasonable.😬 (yeah i know...)

i know this is shocking to hear, cuz the same person who agrees with u on how reasonable your expectations are can then seem inconsistent, cuz even though they agreed with u, they still don’t follow through.

But the thing is that agreeing with u in theory is not the same as having the actual will to fulfill the expectation that both of u agreed is fair and reasonable. Cuz in the end every action comes down to 1 simple question: “Do I want to or not?” regardless of whether the other person is right and might not even be asking for too much....

So when u complain that ur partner or crush doesn’t do what u asked, it’s aint because she doesn't understand u or is unable to see things from ur point of view... She doesn't do it because she just doesnt want to.

And if she does what u asked her to do, she ain't doin it cuz she has a moral duty or social obligation to do it, it's because she wants to even if no one obligates her.

And once u accept that people dont have any obligation to do anythin, that everything they do will always be because they want to, then u can stop wasting energy on resenting others and instead just focus on filtering ppl who don't naturally match ur expectations...

Cuz they simply are different and incompatible with u. Thy are showin u who thye are, and if u don't like it, you have to filter them out and find other ppl who naturally are the way you prefer.

Complaining that your partner doesn't behave according to your expectations or doesnt change despite asking her to change is like complaining that the weather is shit and demanding it changes... no amount of complaining or demands will make the weather change according to your will.

P.S. This goes both ways, so it also applies to women who have expectations of what a man has to do in her own opinion. No man is obligated to meet her expectations, cuz its all about compatibility, not about "shoulds".

Cuz expectations and social consensus around those expectations does not mean someone has a legal obligation to do anything or to fit in with u and ppl also dont have an obligation to be selfless.