What's so wrong with being nice?

runbmb · 2013-09-20T19:53:44+00:00

[permanently deleted]

puaCurveBall · 2013-09-20T18:55:02+00:00

Here is the issue:

You are confusing being the "Nice Guy" with being nice.

When most people are discussing "Nice Guy", they are talking about needy, manipulative behavior used by AFC "Nice Guys".

No one has ever advocated that to avoid being a "nice guy" you need to treat women as anything less than equal human beings.

joshsway · 2013-09-20T18:42:23+00:00

There are very few hard and fast rules. I am a nice guy sometimes and it works, and I am an asshole douchebag sometimes and it works. It all depends on the situation. Calibrating properly is much more important than trying to follow rules.

Marsupian · 2013-09-20T19:07:24+00:00

Nice has a connotation of being friendly in spite of something.

There is a difference between being friendly because you enjoy being friendly and act so without any expectations from the people you are friendly towards and being "nice".

Being "nice" generally implies trying to get something in return from your niceness. It's also generally accompanied by a fear of just saying or asking what you want. The guy who is nice to a girl because he is just a friendly loving person is different from the guy who is nice to a girl because he hopes to get in her pants one day but is afraid to make a move. A lot of people are nice because they are afraid. They are afraid of going against the grain, of speaking their mind or asking a girl out. Instead of doing those things they are "nice" and try to manipulate their way to what they want.

Basically being nice is perfectly fine as long as you do so without expecting something in return and not because you are afraid of expressing yourself honestly and boldly. That is the difference between a "nice guy" and a cool friendly person.

Jessie_James · 2013-09-20T20:59:11+00:00

The problem with "Nice" is how different genders perceive it. The word means something very different for men versus women.

You may think it's "nice" to compliment a woman all the time, carry all her bags, buy her whatever she wants, do whatever she asks, and never talk about sex - and certainly never hit on her. In essence, he is doing anything she wants to "please" her.

Almost always, the "Nice guy" is incredibly dishonest about his behaviors. He acts like he does not want to date her, but is secretly waiting for her to slip into a bad mood so he can "save" her, get her to fall for him, or something else by using deception. He will try to talk bad about men she dates, be her best friend, be her therapist, and so forth, only to try to get closer to her.

However, women see that behavior as emasculating and feminizing. Therefore, in her eyes, a guy acting "nice" is acting very much like a small child does to his mother. It's asexual, and dishonest, and that is the friendzone. A woman can like and even love a guy who acts like that, but it's very much like how a mother loves her child. It's a paternal bond. Nothing will come of it.

InstantWpierdol · 2013-09-20T19:13:54+00:00

So it seems like all of these inaccuracies are just a matter of words, terms, their definitions and differences in understanding them

InstantWpierdol · 2013-09-20T20:32:45+00:00

I haven't got any woman by acting like a cynical asshole douchebag.

Yes, and it's the same reason you dont' get girls by being nice.

You're only doing it for her. Seriously, the typical nice guy is like I am so nice to her and she doesn't like me back.

You're putting her on a toadstool. People can sense bullshit flattery, and it never works, it hasn't worked since the time of monarchs when people would try and flatter kings and queens, they'd get killed for that shit.

Just be real, it's not hard.

Title	What's so wrong with being nice?
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	6
Comments	11
Date	September 20, 2013 5:49 PM UTC (12 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/1msgay/whats_so_wrong_with_being_nice/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/whats-so-wrong-with-being-nice.1358683 https://theredarchive.com/post/1358683

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