When asked what the date is and replying "it's a surprise" - good or bad idea?

HappyJerk · 2014-01-09T17:42:03+00:00

My question: is saying "it's a surprise" a bad idea?

I think so.

Girls don't know you that well, so there is always the chance that you will be a creep. You want to make them feel comfortable, and saying "it's a surprise" is not going to do that.

Also, you are making a common mistake that guys make, which is that you are over-investing in the date. Girls don't think dates are a big deal, especially first dates, so you saying "it's a surprise" makes its look like its more special/important than it really is. Usually you only "surprise" somebody you've been dating for a while. On a first date, you should be acting like the whole thing is a chore for you and she's luck you're even there. You can only act invested when she has done something to earn it.

Finally, I suggest always planning every step of the date and telling her the plan from the get go. It makes you look more confident and "in charge" and makes her feel more comfortable. As Bill Cosby says "Nobody wants to hear that the pilot MIGHT land the plane; they want to know that he WILL land the plane."

LamboPI · 2014-01-09T11:29:53+00:00

Sometimes surprises are good but it shouldn't be used as a line unless you have something out of the ordinary planned. What the Fuck kind of surprise is a dinner am I right? Also if it would benefit the lady to dress a certain way it would be rude not to tell her about at least that.

thedanielmasterson · 2014-01-09T17:46:21+00:00

What theyre really asking is "what should I wear."

Trying saying "Its a surprise, wear a little black dress."

2014-01-09T13:55:51+00:00

I can imagine it working if the guy saying it has 100% faith that the girl will enjoy the surprise.

I can see it failing if the guy saying it is using "surprise!" as a cheap gimmick. Maybe he has no actual plans and is using it to buy time to think of something, or it's just a filler, or he has little faith in his ability to fulfill the "surprise!" paradigm, etc.

rmbarnes · 2014-01-10T00:11:11+00:00

If they're comfortable enough with you then great, it adds to the experience. If not they may be unsure.

Title	When asked what the date is and replying "it's a surprise" - good or bad idea?
Author	NoobleFish
Upvotes	2
Comments	7
Date	January 9, 2014 8:28 AM UTC (12 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/1us9qt/when_asked_what_the_date_is_and_replying_its_a/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/when-asked-what-the-date-is-and-replying-its-a.1364198 https://theredarchive.com/post/1364198

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