Where do i go from here?

(22 M)I have had a some world altering perspective.At my lower then something snapped. The moment i finally stopped caring that sex and get laid is a tied to my masculinity and need it for my fragile ego. I finally have confidence in myself for I am and feel like i can comfortable with my own body. i feel confident in my career and Im proud how far I got in the few months of practice and enjoying what i do. I want to be the version of myself not for dating. Its weird because it almost like body started yearn for exercise and i just followed. It really nice working out. Surprisingly i had two girls really interested in me. I had girl that we spent a lot of time playing games together, picking on each other, i kept from telling her my feelings because i was scared she would leave she cut connection anyway without connection. the other girl was less attractive but she was absolutely obsessed with me. Sadly she was super possessive and insecure, we had to cut ties. I used be to really good at flirting girls online but i felt fake. How do I actually improve, i think casual sex or fwb is something i want to experience before i go into relationship. I don’t want sacrifice my authenticity and that something i wont compromise but I feel like I’m missing a piece of the puzzle? While I love my autism and people with it are successful but yet i wonder how much Im missing in social context. I can understand my best friend well and i can read his body language. So part of me wonder why I still feel like it hard to be accepted? I want to improve or learn during my time of growth so i can when ever time comes that i want to sexual or romantic i can presure with interest and curiosity not for some false ego.

It weird because when Im online i used flirt with a lot of girl but know that ive become more confident in myself and want live authentic. I feel more boring and find making conversation harder to last simply because Im not focusing on seducing but rather get to know if I like them. Most of time it feels like they disinterested. I have to carry the conversation. It feels like i can’t have my cake and eat it too. How do i improve my seduction skill while still being authentic and capitalize on my strength?

Im really smart when it comes to art and writing, im compassionate, I get really philosophical, im confident in my whole-self, Im working out.

[–]Wing_Inevitable 2 points3 points4 points 2 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

Surprisingly i had two girls really interested in me. I had girl that we spent a lot of time playing games together, picking on each other, i kept from telling her my feelings because i was scared she would leave she cut connection anyway without connection. the other girl was less attractive but she was absolutely obsessed with me. Sadly she was super possessive and insecure, we had to cut ties.

Wait so you were possessive and then you met a possessive girl .

Your story is one lacking in any detail to the point I have nothing to comment on .

How do I actually improve, i think casual sex or fwb is something i want to experience before i go into relationship.

Aaa for anyone to answer that question giving examples of what you do or at least giving a story someone can go over and give you examples of what you could fix might be helpfull .

All I see up till now is cooler full writhing which is not bad just not useful .

I don’t want sacrifice my authenticity and that something i wont compromise but I feel like I’m missing a piece of the puzzle?

Sacrificing your authenticity , might be the piece - I know nothing else about you .

While I love my autism and people with it are successful but yet i wonder how much Im missing in social context.

A lot If you think anyone can help with exactly 0 info .

So part of me wonder why I still feel like it hard to be accepted?

You sound pretentious - just guessing .

I want to improve or learn during my time of growth so i can when ever time comes that i want to sexual or romantic i can presure with interest and curiosity not for some false ego.

Ok stop . If you talk like that you are only getting alternative nerds (aka ugly drug using girls )

It weird because when Im online i used flirt with a lot of girl but know that ive become more confident in myself and want live authentic.

Good lick with that .

I feel more boring and find making conversation harder to last simply because Im not focusing on seducing but rather get to know if I like them.

IF you talk the way you wright - that is not the problem .

Hell that can’t be the problem - because in all honesty - screening or qualification IS something you are supposed to do .

Most of time it feels like they disinterested.

I have to carry the conversation. It feels like i can’t have my cake and eat it too.

So you do talk like you write .

How do i improve my seduction skill while still being authentic and capitalize on my strength?

Read Models .

So you are a nerd great , you ain’t getting a fwb or what ever you call it .

The one chance I see of this happening without changing who you are is dating supper down - like if you are a 10 maybe a 6 or a 5 .

Or lucking out and finding the one nerdy girl that is kinda hot . Doesn’t get much attention (let’s be real you can’t really compete with Jo the semi cute guy who’s one redeeming quality is he doesn’t bore the shit out of people , let alone anybody else ) . But also is entirely mentally destroyed and takes her complexes out by sex and yet is sound enough to dress modestly (aka lack of attention ) and somehow decides your poetic ass Is her exact type and gets supper turned on by nerd shit , while at the same time being reposed by any social awareness and FITS you standards . She might exist

Look I will be nice here - NO ONE LIKES NERDS - You are unwilling to change so I have to give you a book that only slightly changes who you are and frankly won’t get you anything you weren’t already going to get .

The women that usually go for fwb - are not your demographic , Sorry . If you are willing to change maybe someone can help you .

[–]Dismal-Ad6885[S] 1 point2 points3 points 2 years ago* (1 child) | Copy Link

I feel like there a bit of miss communication.

I don’t think I was possessive it was pretty much both side wanted to hangout with each just cut connections without any explanation.

Your story is one lacking in any detail to the point I have nothing to comment on .

Aaa for anyone to answer that question giving examples of what you do or at least giving a story someone can go over and give you examples of what you could fix might be helpfull .

Okay this is something I can give a story to example, I remember I went to my first fetlife event with a lot of women. I had no idea and I was extremely conversation and I had no idea how escalated. I failed three different times trying to talk to women. Albeit this was earlier when I was insecure.

Sacrificing your authenticity , might be the piece - I know nothing else about you. A lot If you think anyone can help with exactly 0 info . You sound pretentious - just guessing .

Sorry about sound pretentiousnes, recently it just hard for kinda click. Sure most people don’t have a problem with me but it feels like can fit in the click or friend group. That’s fair it hard to give advice to someone you know info about it.

Holy fuck that sounds so negative, I don’t see the correlation.

I talk the way right. Most of time my grammar is broken because I keep forgetting to double check spelling and stuff.

Read Models. So you are a nerd great , you ain’t getting a fwb or what ever you call it. The one chance I see of this happening without changing who you are is dating supper down - like if you are a 10 maybe a 6 or a 5.

Not sure about this line of reasoning, care to elaborate?

Or lucking out and finding the one nerdy girl that is kinda hot . Doesn’t get much attention (let’s be real you can’t really compete with Jo the semi cute guy who’s one redeeming quality is he doesn’t bore the shit out of people , let alone anybody else ) . But also is entirely mentally destroyed and takes her complexes out by sex and yet is sound enough to dress modestly (aka lack of attention ) and somehow decides your poetic ass Is her exact type and gets supper turned on by nerd shit , while at the same time being reposed by any social awareness and FITS you standards . She might exist Look I will be nice here - NO ONE LIKES NERDS - You are unwilling to change so I have to give you a book that only slightly changes who you are and frankly won’t get you anything you weren’t already going to get . The women that usually go for fwb - are not your demographic , Sorry . If you are willing to change maybe someone can help you .

Over all, I get your critique is nice but your are dead wrong about nerds. I have seen and talk to too many nerds who have fwb. I don’t don’t get why you say nobody likes nerds, Dont you think it’s a tad disingenuous and even a little pretentious to say “nobody like nerds” People are more than just category of nerds. We have on personality: I don’t see how that advice is helpful. I’m willing to improve but not change who I am entirely. It not worth it if I do that. I’m still trying to figure myself out and I’m still learning as life goes on. But come on man, you cant honestly believe nerds don’t get any, bruh. SURE, I entirely believe it how you carry yourself. Mabye I’m not ready yet for advice. I don’t know. I don’t want to sound pretentious I’m just happy to be me. If you guys do preach confidence and confidence is key then the most solid confidence is being happy with yourself. I feel like I will be going the opposite if I pretend to something else. I can give you a few examples of conversation recently. I you wish. I do appreciate your advice.

[–]Wing_Inevitable 0 points1 point2 points 2 years ago* (0 children) | Copy Link

Okay this is something I can give a story to example, I remember I went to my first fetlife event with a lot of women.

I would love to hear it . Preferably in detail .

You were going on and on , i was being bitched at for not paying attention to a girl that was over . And I just wanted to get to some advice I could actually give you .

I apologise . I shouldn’t be so mean to someone I don’t know .

I talk the way right.

I mean it as in just going on and on and on . And give nothing I can actually help you with .

My grammar is worse

I mean your behavior even though you seem like a good person - Women( in general ) who go for fwb are to some extent or another mentally ill - and you are a nice person . They don’t like nice people unless they are the best they can get .

Over all, I get your critique is nice but your are dead wrong about nerds.

Again I went over bored apologies .

Nerd as in beta or dlv it just sounds like the nicest . I’m a nerd (by the fact that I like nerdy things - like any adult men should ) I meant it as more of a behavioural thing .

I don’t see how that advice is helpful.

It kinda is you would have to be to some extent a sexual being . Sorry .

I will just chalk it up to miscommunication and try and not bitch about the rest of this .

I’m just happy to be me.

And you should .

If you guys do preach confidence and confidence is key then the most solid confidence is being happy with yourself.

Never in all my life have I preached that . I don’t deal in mindsets .

The idea of be confident is so you act (at least to some extend like a man ) - thus it works for some and not for others .

I I can give you a few examples of conversation recently.

That would be great . I do love stories . You might have to wait on the advice until tomorrow .

Again I feel bad and I apologise .

I do appreciate your advice.

I will try and explain my thought processes in a nice way .

Title	Where do i go from here?
Author	Dismal-Ad6885
Upvotes	4
Comments	3
Date	April 18, 2024 8:40 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/1c7dzky/where_do_i_go_from_here/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/where-do-i-go-from-here.1515606 https://theredarchive.com/post/1515606

Comments