I’m going to a tattoo school in Florida soon. I’m having some insecurities on going.

Honestly I went through hell the past 6 years of not dating and not getting laid but honestly I think it was my mentality that held me back the most. I dropped out of college last minute because i couldn’t handle the isolation and my mental health was on brink of destruction. lol. I had lot of time to reflect and I’ve gain back my passion and I have dream which made me more confident.

My old self mentality: I was desperate and depressed. My depression got so bad i didn’t even want to get out. I cried a lot and it didn’t like getting out. I was always in the mindset fucked me up so much that any one could smell the desperation.

Now I’m different, i reflect on what kind of quality and boundaries I want to have with myself.

  1. This is my golden rule: always be authentic, never try to fake who you are. I remember I would try be more flirty and fake and almost felt like I was forcing stuff. This is one rule I take to upmost to who I am. This very vague but basically don’t feel the need to impress other by being someone who your not. I Have pride in myself.

  2. Don’t focus on dating, [hear me out for a sec I know it sound hypocritical][I already tried to focus on dating in college and it almost destroyed you] Basically I don’t like focusing on dating as whole and rather getting to know people and if that person is a girl Mabye we might hang more if I like her personality. I feeling Focusing on my dating life and trying to actively peruse damage my mentality and my game. I’m basically gaslighting myself to not focus on it so I’m not desperate.

  3. Don’t beg and lower yourself for anyone. I still struggle with this rule but basically give however much time the girl I’m talking to gives to me. I used have bad habit of talking to girls a lot and text them a lot. I was a puppy dog. I have my boundaries and the mindset is now I’m busy with my dream, spending my time with a girl is an investment don’t give up your time so freely.

  4. Focus on being the best version of myself and that includes working out. I want to be in shape for myself and myself alone.

All in all this are basically what I’ve been telling myself for these 6months and I feel more confident. It seems to work at least in my opinion take this as you will. I was in art serve trying to get better at drawing but by simply talking to people and there were a two girls that liked me. 1st one we would a lot and a lot of time calling, picking on each other and flirted a little. 2nd girl was super obsesse with me and we lived closed by but I couldn’t handle her problems and she was too possessive for me and the relationship would’ve been unhealthy.

That being said I feel more assured but I can’t shake this feeling of my heart dropping when someone talking about sex or having a normal sex life which for some reason I still seem to effect even if it just a slight heartbeat skipping or heart drops. I’m going to a tattoo school/program in Florida. Don’t get it twisted I’m there for education and getting a jobs. Im very focus on my dream so I’m not comprising that. However , I’m excited that I finally get touch grass and I be lying if I part of me wasn’t a little excited to Mabye the possible chance of fwb or dating or whatever. I’m still a bit nervous for some reason and I think it because I’m afraid of reverting back to my old self