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[–]1z1z2x2x3c3c4v4v 4 points5 points6 points 9 years ago (12 children) | Copy Link
everytime i approach girls and tell them they are cute nothinf comes out of it.
Don't do that. Find something unique about them, something they are holding, wearing, or doing, and compliment that, and then ask them to tell you more about it.
You don't want to compliment a girls looks so soon. If you offer a genuine compliment on something she did, worked hard for, or created, it has more impact. She can't change her looks, plus, every other guy tells her she is good looking. You want to be different, curious, and intriguing.
Are you making solid eye contact and smiling? Learn to approach and open better, you will have more luck.
[–]usaest456 0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
i tried that before, they just thank me but still declined when i ask for their number afterwards.
[–]1z1z2x2x3c3c4v4v 0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
And that may happen. You might need to build more rapport with the girls, getting them more involved in the conversations, before you go for the number.
This is a great book, for learning to talk to people, and getting them to like you:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/How_to_Win_Friends_and_Influence_People
Simply said, if you can ask the right questions, and get people to feel good about themselves, they will like you for it.
[–]WikiTextBot 0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
How to Win Friends and Influence People
How to Win Friends and Influence People is one of the first best-selling self-help books ever published. Written by Dale Carnegie (1888–1955) and first published in 1936, it has sold over 30 million copies world-wide, and went on to be named #19 on Time Magazine's list of 100 most influential books in 2011.
Leon Shimkin of the publishing firm Simon & Schuster took one of the 14-week courses given by Carnegie in 1934. Shimkin persuaded Carnegie to let a stenographer take notes from the course to be revised for publication.
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[–]souljabri557 0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (8 children) | Copy Link
The guy calling girls cute is not the reason he can't get laid haha. But good point regardless.
[–]usaest456 0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
whats the reason then? im not bad looking, i get a hair cut every week, i work out and i can dress.
[–][deleted] 1 point2 points3 points 9 years ago* (0 children) | Copy Link
The reason? You don't build rapport, comfort, and attraction.
I mean, put yourself in the hottie's shoes for a sec. She gets lots of guys telling her she's cute, hot, and all that kind of generic, impersonal jazz. And don't dig any deeper. Why would she give any of those guys the time of day if they're not even willing to learn more about her?
How do you think rapport is built? By displaying a genuine interest in knowing more about the person. And GENUINE is the key word. Asking a list of questions is NOT genuine interest. Not finding any questions to ask demonstrates the interest is not genuine, but rather selfish. Not relating to her and making her feel like you share something doesn't display much interest in what matters to her.
Building rapport is all about that. Building comfort is all about making her feel safe in your presence, getting in her mind that you're no creep. Building attraction is making the interaction exciting for her, it's all about emotional tickling.
So sure, you got the looks, the hot bod, and that can certainly help in getting them to look first. But if you don't have anything beyond that, you'll get the results you get now.
[–]souljabri557 0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
If you're 22 please, please focus on going out at night to nightclubs and bars. You will get many more results. Day game is important too but going out at night allows you to be a little weirder and crazier.
[–]1z1z2x2x3c3c4v4v 0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago* (3 children) | Copy Link
No... but... when the first thing you say is about her looks, the vibe starts out with a sexual tone. And if you are not confident, cool, calm, and charming, he can't pull it off.
If his body language, his eye contact, his smile, does not match what he says, it falls flat. And the girl is not interested.
So while some guys (confident guys) can pull off the "your cute" line, most can't, and need to build some rapport with the girl, first.
True. It's not about what you say, it's about the subcommunications
[–]usaest456 0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
ill try to be more calm the next time i approach them, to be honest i act nervous on purpose because i didnt want to seem overly aggresive and scare them away, if im being my natural self, i would talk like " your mad sexy can i get your number so we can fuck?"
[–]1z1z2x2x3c3c4v4v 0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
if im being my natural self
You want to be your natural self dude. If you are confident in who and what you are, and have the correct body language and eye contact when you say what you say... it come off as more genuine and have a better impact.
Seriously.
[–]saffer001 2 points3 points4 points 9 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
5'6
Say no more boss, we got it.
[–]usaest456 1 point2 points3 points 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
dude i seen alot of short guys get alot of women, my cousin is the same height and he has fucked alot of girls but he gives me useless advice like "be yourself"
[–]Jack__Knife 1 point2 points3 points 9 years ago (6 children) | Copy Link
Ask a girl to help you. They are very competitive like that.
[–]usaest456 0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link
how? i have no female friends
[–][deleted] 1 point2 points3 points 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Don't EVER ask a woman for help unless she's explicitly self aware of female behavior (extremely rare). Make friends with guys who are good at picking up women.
[–]Jack__Knife 0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago* (3 children) | Copy Link
Sister? Cousin? Online chat room? Stop watching so much porn, and tossing all your unborn children into tissues in your room. You have no drive to improve. Quit masturbating and watching porn for thirty days. Challenge yourself cut your alone time by 50%. Get out and talk to people, not just girls. Say hi to everyone you meet. Make eye contact more often, learn how to hold it. Your goal is not to look for sex or a woman but merely to look for and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it.
[–]usaest456 0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
i dont have any sisters, my female cousins are fake bitches
what do you mean in the last sentence? i made this thread because im looking for sex with women. im a sec addict, i go through withdrawals when im not seeing hookers
[–]Serniebanders69 0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (19 children) | Copy Link
Here's the thing. Women don't think like how men do. You can't approach them and immediately say something about their appearance. Most women don't like hooking up so easily. Females are emotional. And we have to be. If we were like men, we would ruin our own lives by becoming pregnant single mothers. We need to have a man to be emotionally invested in us in some way before hooking up. For example, my former best friend was a major whore but she ONLY slept with guys that she got to know, that were her friends or that liked her. Basically people whom she has created at least some sort of bond with. So the best way is to be completely normal and try your best to act casual and find some common ground, don't say anything about appearance at all or else they're gonna think "Damn, just another fuckboy". This happens to women all the time and not all women want to screw around.
Also, most older women don't like going after guys that are so young compared to them. It's how we are. I'm not saying that it's impossible to get an older woman but it'll be hard. Most of them will just see you as a child in their eyes. My female relatives and all my former friends have dated/are dating guys older than them and I'm dating an older guy myself.
It's not something that we do on purpose, it's subconscious. And it kinda makes sense why it's so common. Back then, women relied on their husbands to take care of them. Physically, financially etc. And older guys are better and more experienced in bed. So in a woman's mind it's better to get a man that's your age or older than to get a younger guy.
so when should i expess sexual interest in them? i really dont have all the time in the world when approachimg in the street because they are busy people too im from new york btw. and how did ur slit frd start having sex with them?
[–]usaest456 0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (17 children) | Copy Link
and also please explain why a guy like jin gates have all these women lusting over his pics in the comment section? they dont know him personally, doesntq that contradict what you said? i just domt get it? i look like him but im have way less body fat than him but i get no play , i just got rejected by 2 women 20 mins ago.
[–]Tjodleik 0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago* (15 children) | Copy Link
and also please explain why a guy like jin gates have all these women lusting over his pics in the comment section?
I can answer that. Since he's a rapper he's (probably) somewhat famous, and thus he has high social status. This means women are "allowed" to fawn over him because they won't lose social standing on the off chance that they have sex with him.
You, on the other hand, are just some dude on the street/in the bar/where ever, who's interrupting whatever they're doing, and even though you might look good you don't have social status in their eyes and need to get that across if you want to have sex with them.
Also, looking good is just one piece of a hundred piece puzzle that will make you attractive to women. In addition to looks you need confidence, self worth and social skills to pull it off, along with the ability to build trust and rapport, so they don't believe you're just gonna pump 'em, dump 'em, and then brag about it to all your friends and their grandfather afterwards. You also got the fact that there is a subset of women who are attracted to celebrities, and it might very well be those who are lusting over his pics, while the majority of women don't really give a fuck about him.
Edit: Grammar.
[–]usaest456 0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (14 children) | Copy Link
thats true, but atleast im out here trying, im sick of paying for hookers , i need a few fuck buddies that wont tear a new hole out my psycheck. so i just need to build more rapport before asking for the digits?
[–]Tjodleik 0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (13 children) | Copy Link
so i just need to build more rapport before asking for the digits?
That's hard to say without at least getting more details about exactly how you approach. Ideally you want to find someone who's better than you and get them to watch while you do your approach, so they can (hopefully) give you some pointers and tell you what/if you do something wrong and how to fix it.
This is of course just a total shot in the dark based on what little information you have given us here, but your post give me a "I look damn good, so why won't women magically land on my dick?"-vibe. You also come across as needy and entitled, both of which are huge red flags for women. I am of course exaggregating to get a point across, but if it's anywhere close to true then your main problem is inner game. So my answer to your question would be to work through your approach step by step. If you're getting blown off right after the opener, then change it and see if other things work better. If nothing works, consider body language and inner game, and try to find something that works. Then hold a conversation for a few minutes without getting blown off, then build rapport and trust, then start working on asking for the number.
But all I can really be sure of at this point is that if you're constantly being rejected, then you're doing something wrong on some level. But what that might be is anyone's guess at this point.
[–]usaest456 0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (7 children) | Copy Link
heres the approach i usually use, i walk up to a girl then i say, excuse me i think you look beautiful, then they thank me, then i say whats your name btw, then aftet that i tell them my name and shake hand and say nice to meet u, then i say can i get your number so we can chill?
[–]Tjodleik 0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (6 children) | Copy Link
This is gonna be a bit of keyboard jockeying since I do very little daygame, but based on general experience I'd say that interaction is way too short to build the trust necessary for her to give out her number. Also, drop the "excuse me" and change "beautiful" to "cute." Excuse me can work, but generally makes you look weak and inconfident, and while "beautiful" is blatantly aimed at her looks, "cute" can be interpreted as a quality as well as being based on her looks, and will thus give you a bit more leeway.
what should i say instead of excuse me?
[–]Tjodleik 0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link
There are a couple of options. You could just go "Hey, I thought you were cute and wanted to say hello. I'm <name>, by the way."
Alternatively "Hey. I know this is kinda weird, but I thought you were cute and I just had to say hello." Then introduce yourself and take it from there.
The first one is more direct and your intentions tend to be clearer, while the other one is "softer" because you acknowledge that it's an unusual situation but you decided to try anyway. It really boils down to your personality type and how you communicate, so you have to decide which one resonate with you. Or just try both and see if one feels more "right" (or give better results) than the other.
ok so after the introduction can i ask for the number or do i have to keep talking, if so what do i talk about?
[–]usaest456 0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link
my logic is since im not bad looking, cant i atleast be able to get an average womab with ease? im not a supermodel but i catch women checking me out alot, i know im not imagining things because it happens everyday while i commute to work. anyways i watch alot of amateur porn , i see these douche bags calling women dirty sluts on xhamster and they enjoy it and moan to it, why cant i do the same? whats the secret?
[–]Tjodleik 0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
my logic is since im not bad looking, cant i atleast be able to get an average womab with ease?
When you eat, do you eat because it looks good or because it taste good? "Looks" is just one quality that woman value, and going from my own experience I'd say it's a quality that will give you maybe a minute extra to prove that you have other qualities as well. To give you an example from the opposite side of the scale I'm a fat, mediocre looking dude who you'd think women wouldn't look at twice, but after putting a lot of work into getting rid of my fears and expressing myself I started getting a whole lot of female attention. So while this is strictly speaking anecdotal evidence I'd say it seems looks aren't everything, and unless you specifically seek out women who are prone to go for looks alone it's not some magic wand you can wave around and get women to line up in front of your door.
im not a supermodel but i catch women checking me out alot, i know im not imagining things because it happens everyday while i commute to work.
Then why not approach them? Start a conversation, maybe tease them a bit about checking you out like some piece of meat (playfully and light hearted, of course) and then go for the number?
anyways i watch alot of amateur porn , i see these douche bags calling women dirty sluts on xhamster and they enjoy it and moan to it, why cant i do the same?
... and this is where I had to do the ol' triple take. Dude, seriously. It's porn. It's an act! If you seriously watch porn and think reality works in anywhere near the same way, then you got some major delusions you need to get a grip on before you think about dating.
whats the secret?
It's an act. Reality doesn't work that way.
when they check me out it usually happens on the subway, i dont want to make a scene on the train and i also dont know how to approach them in that scenerio. teach me your ways dude. i havent had a girlfriend since i was 14. can you picture the amount of frustration i got fr 8 year straight with 0 female contact until i recently started to see hookers. but i cant keep up with that habit because i make minimum wage.
[–]Tjodleik 0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Like I said I'm not a daygamer, so teaching you "my ways" would be a fairly short and mostly useless affair. Unless you want to learn about the mental bit in general, cause then I can ramble on for hours.
And I was a virgin til I was 30 and got my first kiss two months before my 30th birthday, so yes, I believe I have at least some idea of the amount of frustration you felt.
damn dude thats crazier than what im going through. but ur getting alot of pussy now, thats all that matters. mad props to u. bro i cant wait to.fuck some pussy that i didnt have to pay for, cant keep going like this.
[–]StephenStrangeMD 0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Have you tried being better looking?
im not a bad looking guy, and yes i workout and i get a haircut everyweek, and i dress good and i do see girls checking me out often but when i go and talk to them it never works.
[–]Methaxetamine 0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
3/10 lol'd tho
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