Watch the video here: Why People Cheat (VIDEO)

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I'd love to here your thoughts.

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TL;DW

Every time anyone has ever been unfaithful to a partner, it's because they were trying to meet some of their 6 Human Needs.

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Most people don't wake up one day and decide "I'M GOING TO CHEAT ON MY PARTNER".

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Yet cheating is very common.

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Our needs are SO fundamental to our wellbeing that people will compromise their values to meet their needs. Usually this happens subconsciously. But it happens nonetheless.

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I was introduced to the concept of the 6 Human Needs by Tony Robbins. This information changed my life.

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The 6 Human Needs were introduced to me by Tony Robbins and they shifted my perspective dramatically.

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So, in no particular order...

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The 6 Human Needs:

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  • Love & Connection - Intimate and platonic. Friends and family.
  • Significance - The need to feel important, or that you matter.
  • Variety/Uncertainty - Variety is the spice of life.
  • Certainty - Too much variety is chaos. We all need some stability.
  • Growth - Improving, learning, becoming more.
  • Contribution - Giving of yourself to others.

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These needs can be met in many ways, both healthy and unhealthy. Within and outside of an intimate relationship. Many people meet these needs through their profession, their passions, through sport, through exercise. There’s no end.

If something is able to meet at least 3 of your needs at a 5/10 level or above, it can become an ADDICTION.

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Picture the gym junkie. Why is he or she addicted?

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  • Certainty - Every time, they know what they’re in for, and how it will feel.
  • Variety/Uncertainty - But who knows if they’ll hit a new personal best or fail on the last rep.
  • Significance - Lifting more, being bigger, stronger or fitter than most other people.
  • Growth - Not just muscles, but in self-discipline.
  • Love & Connection - Train regularly enough and you’ll end up with some gym buddies.

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Is it any wonder people become addicted to the gym?

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If a person is not meeting enough of their needs within or outside their relationship, they will find ways to meet these needs at a higher level.

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How can cheating meet some of these needs?

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  • Love & Connection - I mean, goes without saying, right?
  • Certainty - Each time we meet, there’s passion.
  • Variety/Uncertainty - It’s dangerous and naughty. How long will it last? Will we be caught? Plus, the sex is wild.
  • Significance - This new person makes you feel wanted, special, loved, important. You receive their attention.

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I’m not excusing cheating.

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HOWEVER.

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Understanding the 6 Human Needs explains why people cheat and why most people who cheat hate themselves and don’t even understand what drove them to be unfaithful.

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It is ALWAYS because their needs were unmet and they found a way to meet them. Even if it went against their values. Even if it wasn’t healthy.

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Something to think about.