I have read and implemented the ideas of frames, passing shit tests etc. Now among my group of friends, I can see how the social dynamic works. Not being a natural conversationalist and speaker, I now come as rude, uncalibrated sometimes and create silences, when I try to reject people’s frames. “Agree and exaggerate” don’t seem to be the nicest weapon cuz it only works if the other person senses the sarcasm, otherwise it comes as self-deprecatory. On the other hand- I can’t use misinterpretation / meta frames on the spot- hence the words that just come out are quite brazen. Now people who are better than me end up understanding that I ‘tried’ to one-up them, while the ones who don’t understand the dynamics, think I am a dick. I am 99.99% sure I have expression problems- that I either engage in frame battle and can’t think of what to say (although I do have opinions to share) OR I accept other people’s frames which is no-no, especially when they are coming from a wrong place. I think this is an inner game issue- what should I do to become the BEST (alpha if you will) person in the group which everyone dies to hear to. I still feel very uncomfortable when everyone is hearing me and feel so much social pressure that my mind goes blank.

Any advice for your brotha? Any courses/ meetings/ conversation groups that work on this? I am even willing to connect people and make a group of fellas who would like to work on this together and become better. Reach out and I promise we will work something out.