There a lot of guys in this sub that are so scared to make a mistake that they won't even make a move and capitalize on their opportunities. Today I want to address the importance of making mistakes and getting experience. Every guy that is now good with women has experienced being rejected, sending cringe messages and felt like a loser/unwanted/weak. Rejection, conflicts, and mistakes are all part process/journey to get better at getting women and interacting with them.

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Understanding the Brain and Fear

If you take anything from the post I want to be these two things: Fear is learned and our brains can be reprogrammed.

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Your parents, outside influences and other experiences taught you what you fear today. Lucky for us we can conquer our fears and forget out them. I'll use fear of heights as an example. A fear of heights can stop you doing things such as flying on a plane, or riding a rollercoaster. You could have a fear of heights from falling off something when you were younger, watching something scary or seeing a tragic event. You conquer the fear of heights by doing things that smaller things that require being up high (hiking, going up ladders, tall buildings) then you work your way to flying and rollercoasters.

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To conquer your fear of rejection or any fear for that matter, you must understand what you're scared. Find out why you're scared of it and get experience by facing your fear. If you want to set up yourself of success you make take small steps that add up to real progress. Do you hate the feeling of rejection? Are you scared something else like being ridiculed for being rejected? Does getting rejected make you feel ugly or unwanted? Really think about why you fear about rejection. Why does this stop you from approaching women and at least making an attempt?

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*side note (you can skip over this part): To get over rejection myself, I had to tell myself that every woman has a preference and it's perfectly fine if she doesn't think that I'm her preference, but there are plenty of girls that I am their preference.

There are 1000 reasons why you could get rejected, you shouldn't be discouraged because you get rejected of things can't control such as your height, race or age. At the end of the day. I know I am all around great guy and that I don't need to seek validation from women, because rejection doesn't stop me from being great.*

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We can reprogram our brains to not have fear anymore. With the fear of heights doing something that requires you must tell yourself, "nothing will happen" over time of doing things over and over your brain won't think "I might slip and fall off" The same things goes for rejections. your brain is thinking if I get rejected she could say something like "why did you think I would want to with someone as ugly as you" in reality most rejections are "I'm on really for someone right now" or "I have a boyfriend." The worst thing she can tell you is no. Your brain is giving a lot of power to the word no. Tell yourself over and over that the word no isn't that bad. The word no isn't going to give you any physical pain. Hearing no doesn't mean you're ugly, a loser or weirdo, it just means no.

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Getting Experience and Learning from them

Now that you understand what fear is and that you can beat it, now you have to get experience. I challenge you to approach one woman and not worry about the outcome. Something as simple as "Hi my name (your name) and I think that you're cute. Can I get your number and take you out sometime?" 9 out 10 times this will get you rejected, but that's the point. I want you to be aware of a few things. How nervous were you? Did what you fear happen? How did she respond? Over time your brain will stop getting nervous and you'll see that you had nothing to fear. Make one approach a day while working on small things like not getting nervous, having good posture and making eye contact.

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To get better I recommend talking to friends about your approach and getting their input. Do what feels natural and find out what works best for you. Trial and error will always be the way to experiment with anything. Refine and adapt your approach as time goes and understand you will never get better without practice.

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another side note: To help get the basic of approaching (eye contact and body language) I recommend reading this Jeans * Joe's Guide to Perfect Eye Contact and also reading Model by Mark Manson.

Models by Mark Manson - Study Guide (here's a study guide in case you're too lazy to read the full book)

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Closing

To get better at anything you have to work at it. There is no one way to get women that always works. There is no way to stop rejection. There will never be the perfect answer on what to do. Finding out what a woman thinks is a lot better than you asking yourself what if I tried. When you know your answer it makes easier to either move on or pursue some type of relationship.

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Never and I mean never let fear stop you ever again. There's are too many amazing life experiences you will miss out on because of fear. The first step can be the hardest, but it's the step you need to take to get on the right path.

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edit: formatting and probably my grammar later