This is a post about values. Hopefully, you can take something away from it.

As I have gotten older (I’m almost 25, still young I know) I slowly feel that the happy days grow further and further apart. I got involved in the self-help world at a young age reading books like “How to Win Friends and Influence People”, “Influence”, and “Think And Grow Rich” it wasn’t until my freshman year of college that I read “Models” by Mark Manson where he stresses values as possibly the most important aspect of game and life.

I was pulled towards these books because I had an idea of how I wanted my life to look, to myself and others. This ideal was created through who I thought my father was (who passed when I was 10), what he valued, as well as the values I saw around me in people that I looked up to (business tycoons, athletes, musicians, girls, popular kids, etc.). They are probably the same values many of you strive to have like discipline, beauty, likeability, strength, sense of humor, drive, success, respect, bravery, etc.

As I continued to get older I continued to think that these values were ME, or one day will BE ME yet I failed and failed again at achieving them, the harder I tried to live them, the more stressed and unhappy I became. To the point where I didn’t feel like myself anymore, I didn’t know who I was even though, ironically, who I was was all I cared about.

I used to be such a happy kid. I was so optimistic about everything, the world was my playground. I persued things I enjoyed because I was genuinely interested in doing it. I would ride my unicycle around girls cheerleading practice because I thought I was the fucking MAN!... And I was the fucking man.

In the first week of 5th grade, we had a project to fill a jar with things we enjoyed. I LOVED Legos but I thought that people would think I was too childish and uncool, so I left them out of the jar, that was the last time I played with legos. In 7th grade lacrosse, the older kids called me Stoner Kid because I was happy-go-lucky and everything I did had a goofy feel to it. After noticing that people didn’t take me seriously because I was a goof I started to VALUE being taken seriously, because that’s what I thought I needed to do, to be, who I wanted to be.

My life is full of these instances. I thought society wanted something different from me, so going forward I tried my hardest to be that thing. All while maintaining the thought that I was packed full of individuality and unique character. While I saw all of my value changes to be worthy goals, the truth is, that in trying to acquire societies and self implicated expectations of myself I lost grasp entirely of my original adolescent values that at one point provided me with the most happiness.

I have recently learned that they will do the same going into the future.

Since this personal revelation, I have let go of the values I spent so long curating and canonizing in favor of those values that chose me from birth. In doing this, those other values, the ones I always strived for have become much more achievable yet they don’t hold power over me like they used to. I am more outgoing, lovable, interesting, magnetic, tolerant, interested, curious, diligent, successful, attractive, etc. without placing any value on being any of these things.

If you can relate to this story I recommend you think back on your childhood. Before you gave a fuck about what anyone thought of you. Recount memories of some of the things you used to find joy in. ways you would prioritize one activity over the other. do you display any of those values anymore? Why don’t you? Do you find these values attractive/personable when you see them in others?

Here is a list of values to help https://scottjeffrey.com/core-values-list/

And if you don’t know how this ties into Game can someone in the comments explain it because I don’t want to type another sentence.