I was on the chess team in high school. Girls liked me cause I was the adorable Japanese friend. I was a buck five and could hide behind Kate Moss so there wasn't much hope for me.

I went became interested in advertisement and marketing - especially the creative side of how to sell a product. Then I realized that who I was wasn't wimpy or boring, how I was portraying it to other people was.

I didn't play chess - I partook in the slowest disco dance floor for giants. I wasn't an ESL student. I was a "Why the fuck do you only know one language?" student. It's not that I "couldn't dance" I just didn't want to make it seem like I was culturally appropriating Caucasian's customs for my own personal needs.

I wasn't being funny. All of those things were true in my perspective. Chess was like a tricky slow dance trying to retain the power of a giant, I did my education not having English as a first language and constantly was frustrated people put me down because of my accent and language struggles but still got good grades and I wouldn't dance to some techno dance mix because I'm fucking Japanese. If I do any random movements, we make sure it looks fucking cool and has a purpose. To do otherwise to shitty music is a white guy thing.

Hopefully, most people know I'm saying this with a grain of salt and some humor because you're going to need a lot of that if you want to get to know someone who spends an hour on just the hair on their head (never mind ridding the rest of their body of it) then painting their face to look like what they think we want and fretting about how they look every minute of the day. First, we need to admit that that must be exhausting, second we need to admit that social pressure is not something we should complain about by comparison. So lets not start saying that women are fickle or shallow or don't understand what we want, or want some asshole to treat them like shit. How do I know that? Because they do all of that bullshit for us. Whether we like what they do or not, it's done because they're taught that we like it. The last thing they need is someone getting drunk and saying "women love assholes" If that was true then every woman around you would suddenly jump on you after that statement. If they were, you wouldn't be reading this. Women don't love assholes. Women love men who are passionate about what they do without excuses and can explain it in an interesting and obtainable way.

I have had friends cry on my shoulder saying they can't find the right woman because they're "A round peg and the world is a square hole". First of all, if you're going to whine and cry, maybe don't use the analogy of a baby's toy. That's not helping your image. Second of all, you know the world is far more complex than one shape (you) not fitting into another (the world). You are not supposed to try and fit into the world. You are supposed to make a place for yourself in the world. You are not a peg and the world is not a hole. You are a person who needs to interact with other people in order to make a life for yourself. You don't like to conform to fit in? Well no one was asking you to fit in. If you managed to go to school, go to work and live a basic life enough for you to engage people enough to have food, shelter, financial stability and enough knowledge to use the internet then your problem with "not fitting in" is the fact that you don't feel that you have to extend those social abilities beyond basic needs that give you immediate comfort. That was harsh. But so is floundering on your friends stating that no one understands you when you have someone there for you to cry on. Let's be realistic. You can connect with people enough to have friends to talk to whether it's in person or on line. Don't assume women can't do the same. They just don't appreciate it when the first instance that you don't have the same opinion you get angry at them and write them off because your body is different than them. A round peg trying to fit into a square hole should understand that stance.

The following book is the first one I read that changed my life for the better. "Hey Whipple, Squeeze This!" It's not a self help book. It's actually a book about Copyrighting. It's not a text book. I didn't write it. I'm not out to get your money in some coaching scam or anything. This is just purely advice.

It teaches you how people look at situations, how other people spin situations so the general public see the value in them or laugh at how there is no value in it. This book taught me that no one else is seeing me as an outcast and only I see myself that way. I learned how to be proud of what I'm made of - chess team, scrawny frame, accent and all - because girls could have the skinny white guy with his creepy large adams-apple, and a scarf in June. Or she could have the skinny Japanese guy with the good job and can make fun of that guy to his face in another language that we can both laugh about.

You're not a round peg in a square hole. You're not an outcast. You just need some perspective. Read the book. It will help.

https://www.amazon.ca/Hey-Whipple-Squeeze-This-Creating/dp/1118101332