We met online 10 years ago and she was older and I thought she was hot. But she didn’t have her life together and I didn’t care cause I just wanted to lose my Virginity. I had some issues with ED and was insecure especially being small. I never told her about the ED nor being a Virgin. I said I was just nervous cause she was older. She seem accepting and made me feel comfortable so I ended up getting serious with her. We had a 10 years gap and my family will never be okay with me dating her so I kept her a secret. However, she would caught on with my lies and without me knowing got my mom’s number and reveal everything about us. They told me to break it off and ceased any communication with her. They didn’t trust me so I was dragged to go back to my country to separate me from her. I didn’t tell her but said I’ll contact her soon. I had no plans doing this and I was just going to ghost her.

2 weeks after I came back to the US and she was in touch with my cousins and one of them told her everything. She wouldn’t stop contacting me asking for closure but I couldn’t do it so instead I gave in and decided to see her behind my family’s back again. I decided to join the military but didn’t tell her. However, my cousin was telling her things so my covers was blown again. She suggested to marry and I couldn’t say no so we got a marriage license but I had no plans in going through with it. I told her I would tell my family but I couldn’t and when the day came our family was suppose to meet, I was actually going to boot camp. She once again contacted my folks and they called the cops. She got mad at me and said once I leave to military that’s it. That wasn’t the case. I got cut off from the family cause I saw her again after boot camp.

We got married cause she suggested and I agree cause it’s make sense for bah. I didn’t have my family anymore so I figure why not. Our marriage was toxic. She couldn’t work cause she has mental illness and some health issues and she blames me for it. She said due to what I put her through. While we were dating I called the cops on her once when she scratch me after she caught my lies. That made her lose her only job she can do and her job license. And her health spiral down. But that’s not my fault! Anyway, she became very abusive towards me. Always wanting to divorced. She never wanted to live with me on base and or have our own place she said she’s afraid she will die living with me and it’s better if we save money. We spend our entire marriage living apart. I hated the fact I worked and she handled my paycheck. Don’t get me wrong she doesn’t spend besides giving to her parents and she made sure we aren’t in debt. She said that’s her contribution. When we did finally move in together, she wouldn’t do anything cause she was always sick. I got tired of this and spent most my time at work than being home with her. I cooked, clean and work. She does try at times but it was hard to appreciate it.

Fast forward, I got out from the military and landed a good Job and we got our own place. I started seeing her as a burden and I secretly was seeing someone. I wanted out. Sometimes I would purposely tried to trigger her so she would get sick and go back to her parents. Around this time my family were in my life and she played a factor in that but her motive was to ask money from them on my behalf cause she didn’t trust I made enough in the military. I was doing so well with my current job and got my degrees and she just keep getting sicker and I knew I had to get out. My family also wanted me to divorce her. I tried to end things but she begged and begged and said that marriage was all she had and why didn’t I leave when she wanted a divorced why now when she’s older. I gave it another go and she was trying to make some changes and stop being abusive but when she caught my lies again about talking to others girls, money I was hiding that my folks gave me, she became abusive again so that was my last draw. I plotted to leave her and made her think things were good cause I worried what she would do if I had told her the truth. She did say she was okay with divorced but not to neglect her financially but I was so angry with all the abuse I got that part of this was revenge. I hated her. So at the right moment when I got her out of our home that’s when I called her up and said I’m out and I never look back. She tried the begging using her being sick and her dog blah blah. But I felt nothing. I didn’t really care what happen to her or her dog. I just ignored her and blocked her out of my life. I was glad I was out. I don’t feel bad and I’m happy to know she’s suffering and stuck living with her parents. She wont be able to get a job and I wouldn’t even be surprised if she dies before alimony payment ends. She’s always saying I’m a narcissist but I believe she is. I’m happier, richer, healthier and with a younger woman who has a career and not ill. My parents proud of me too. I deserved to be happy now.