I’ve given all I can. Given everything you’ve asked for. Space to grieve. Taken on 90% of the child rearing. Yet when I’m drowning and ask for help I’m the selfish one. I sleep in our son’s room so you can have time to lay about unbothered. I let you go to bed early most days when you’re feeling down. Yet I’m the bad guy when I see that you’re just on your phone, playing games, or watching TV. I’m the bad guy when I see this and ask for help with dinner, to watch our son so he doesn’t get hurt, so I can clean up the kitchen afterwards. I can’t keep doing this. We fight because I don’t think you pull your weight, and you think I’m selfish and not letting you heal from grief. I’m sorry but it’s been three years. I’d be more sympathetic if you had gotten help earlier, or even had gotten better. Yet it seems like you’ve gotten worse, or at best, you’re the same as the day she passed. I’m lonely, tired, depressed, and lost. I’m being the best dad I can be while most days I’m running on fumes.

I’ll just never be enough.

Divorce is here and I’ll be sad that it’s over. Sad that I’ll not get to be there every day for our son, but half the time at most.

I’ll be happy for a fresh start. I’m not sure if I believe in love after this. How can you love someone yet treat them so poorly I’m not sure. I don’t think I’ll miss the physical aspect of a relationship/marriage. I think I’ll miss the joking around, best friend style relationship we had.

I’ve already mourned our relationship ending. I am not ready for the next step, but I know it is a must. Like ripping a bandaid off.

I hope for nothing but the best in your future. To be a good mom, friend, and yes I hope you can be the best version of yourself some day like I know you can.