I know I made the right decision. Things hadn't been good for a long time, she wrote she was 'tired of faking it and not into it anymore, and would never appreciate all I did' -- so I left.

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I went back to a gf from 30+ years ago and it's working out great! We're happy, (even tough it's long-distance for now) have had three great years of frequent visits, holidays, reunions with friends and old family. We've had great times, she's everything my ex wasn't - supportive, nurturing, selfless, flexible, optimistic, self-assured.

I know my ex is lonely and sad and still miserable and I can't help feel guilty, like I didn't try hard enough. Like I should've stuck it out (she's BPD). We had so many good years together (8-10), but after her affair, suicide attempt (and subsequent threats), I felt like I wanted to be happy. Twenty-five years was a long time to stick it out. I really felt like I could 'save her' and that no one else could/would.

On top of that my therapist of 9 years died suddenly and my close friend of 40 years. It's been a tough year.

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Just had to vent.