Doubting myself post breakup

jagupp · 2020-07-09T08:12:23+00:00

You’re displaying a scarcity mindset rn and that is something you should really try to change. You’re young, 24 is literally the start of your professional and stable life and it’s absolutely okay to not want children. I myself have no screaming maternal instinct that many women speak of and I’m ambivalent about them in general. Kids just do nothing for me. They’re sweet little beings but I quite simply cannot imagine myself with them. Kids are also such a huge commitment. You’re committing yourself to the caretaking of other humans for at least 20 years. Do you really think it’s wise to run back to a man who is going to expect you to put your body through massive trauma and alter your life to raise these beings when you’re not even naturally inclined to do so? Even if he wonderful, you will end up resenting him and he won’t seem so high value then.

There are plenty of men out there and you’re going to attract the type you think you deserve. If you continue to put your ex on a pedestal you’re gonna miss out on being able to fairly evaluate others and be stuck in a viscous cycle. Don’t torture yourself like that. Let him go. You will find someone who is more aligned to you.

MakeURegret · 2020-07-09T15:12:19+00:00

You don’t hear about all the relationship successes on this site. What’s there to say?

Sometimes people will have a story that shows their partner going above and beyond, but most good relationships don’t have really high highs and really low lows they’re just even keeled.

So have a mindset of abundance instead.

And think about it - did you think anyone as sweet as your ex-so existed before you met him? I’m betting that’s a no. So it’s possible that there are even sweeter guys out there that you just haven’t met yet. Notice that you’re also putting him on a pedestal - he may be sweet and everything but that should be your standard - your bare minimum.

It’s okay to not know if you want children at this age. If you’re truly worried about whether your judgement is clouded though I suggest therapy. You’ll probably have to try a few different counselors before you find a good fit and once you do they’ll be able to help sort you through that problem.

Title	Doubting myself post breakup
Author	Heyyitslena
Upvotes	12
Comments	4
Date	July 8, 2020 10:57 PM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/hnrkl2/doubting_myself_post_breakup/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/doubting-myself-post-breakup.713267 https://theredarchive.com/post/713267

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